punchworthy

In other news, we just bought a(nother) minivan

2011-05-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

It's not the first time, you know.

We're actually 3 vans in. And, in defense of anything that's in danger from anyone who still thinks it's fun to deride minivan ownership, I'd just like to say that a.) they have more interior cargo space than a Chevy Suburban, and b.) the VW Bus is the orignal minivan and totally cool, right?

Right.

That somehow seemed to relate to this... but it's probably just a case of me taking something and making it all about myself.

Brace yourselves...

2011-05-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

THE END IS NEAR!!

Well, okay.. it's not. Or maybe it is. I don't really know. But that's kind of my point.

Contrary to what you may have heard in the news, I feel it is my duty to tell you, as your not-a-small-group not-leader, that I'm relatively certain tomorrow is not the The Rapture. (I think I'm on a mailing list for that or something) I went and read the bible tract from the guy who's doing the prophesying, and I gotta say, he seems like a wacko. An earnest wacko, but still. (Of course, John the Baptist was about an 11 on the 10-point "Just avoid eye contact and maybe he'll go away without talking to us" scale, so who knows, right?)

But don't be outraged at this dire prediction. It is not our place. OUR place is to be outraged that he's also preaching Annihilation of the Soul! He's an anti-Hell-ite! I say we go find this guy, and Rob Bell, while we're at it.. and string them up!

If we can still find them after tomorrow, that is.

peace,
-j

Weird

2011-05-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

Weird.

It's what things are right now.

Weird. I have a kid who starts driver's ed next year.

Weird. I have two other kids who are also not-small.

Weird. I apparently now only visit my own blog roughly once every 12 months.

Weird. Deb and I have been married for 17 years.

Weird. I'm 38.

Weird. I finally have a band, and perform regularly.

Weird. I've become fully self-employed, primarily as a writer, busy working--often day and night.

Weird. I do more and think less.

Weird. I've come to care more about what I'm doing, and less about how I look doing it.

Weird. Just as I'm realizing who I might be, I'm realizing how little time I have left to be.

I am more on track now, and more lost, than I have ever been.

Weird. Is how "weird" sounds if you say it over and over.

But that's what it is. For the moment.

Hope to catch you again soon, non-existant blog and audience! Punchworthy 2012! We can do it!

Sorry

2010-05-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry, non-existant readership. It appears I haven't posted anything for over a year.

It's been so long, in fact, that the anniversary of not-getting-knifed-by-bikers has already passed. (see last post) And I didn't even send flowers or anything!

Maybe this year I'll blog again.

But not if it was anything like last year.

2009-04-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write a note to everyone who came to Jay and I's show at The Phoenix on Saturday (and to anyone who was interested but didn't make it out).

The busyness of Easter Sunday and the fuzzyness of my brain have pushed it off until just now, but I think I'm finally coherent enough to say:

THANK YOU!

Thank you everybody who was there--not knowing whether or not Jay and I (or at least I) were going to suck it up, big time, or if they were going to get knifed by a biker, etc... Thanks to Deb, Christine, Stephanie, Kati, Jeremy, Byron, James, Josh (w/special thanks to Katie for staying w/ the kids so he could come), Kim, and Kim for coming out to show support, fill up the room a little, sing along and have a good time in general. If you're interested, Steph's husband, Josh (who was greatly missed), is gradually getting up clips of each song from the video that Steph took. It's video, so... it's video. But here's where to find it, and double-thanks to Josh and Steph for the documentation: http://www.youtube.com/user/bournefan

The Phoenix turns out to be not too bad a place, really. Provided you don't mind smelling a little smoky later on..but hey, that's why God gave us showers, right? Overall, I'd say the sound was decent, and we did a decent job. Not the highlight of either of our careers, probably, but pretty good for guys who have never played out together before! Tune in Tokyo was, as promised, FIERCE!! (special thanks to myself, for remembering hearing protection), and Steve Ewing (formerly of The Urge) was tre-men-dous. That guy has pipes down to his ankles, and puts on an energetic show--at midnight. To an almost empty house. So I highly recommend catching that show if you ever get another chance.

Speaking of which, we got a lot of great feedback, and the guy who booked the show wants to book us some more, and Steve Ewing told me that he'd like to play some more shows over here, and specifically with us. So maybe you'll get that chance sometime soon.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't thank you enough. I'll let you know when the next party is. : ]

-j

Start out awesome. You can get good later.

2009-04-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen.. the music of "The Deep Vibration"!

Thanks and credit to Paste Magazine .com

http://www.pastemagazine.com/action/paste_station?station_track=track_10290_1457&mode=normal

http://www.thedeepvibration.com/

http://www.myspace.com/thedeepvibration

Imbalance of Efforts

2009-04-08T11:49:00.001-07:00

I spend more time wishing I was better than getting that way.

More time analyzing my situation than changing it.

More time thinking than doing.

And more to wish

and to get

analyze

think

do

all the time.

Bizkit + Toxic = ???

2009-03-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

"Toxic Bizkit"

Personally, I choose to believe that some special government agency stepped in and prevented a crisis. Like they would for a terrorist threat. Or last year's Golden Globes.

"YANKEE! HOTEL! FOXTROT! OPERATION TOXIC BIZKIT IS GO! GO! GO! SCRAMBLE! CODE BLUE!"

Paid to have an opinion

2009-03-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of people being paid to have an opinion these days. And I'm cool with that.

"Thanks!" says The World. "We'll go ahead now that we know you don't mind!"

But sometimes it's absurd enough to strike me as funny. Today's example being a commentary entitled "Pope wrong on condoms."

Just the idea that an op ed piece on CNN somehow relates to the pope... or even that the pope's opinion relates to the catholic stance on condom use...

"Yes. Thank you, CNN." Says the Holy See. "We'll get right on changing our mind, now that we understand some people have objections!"

Check that crazy hair...!

2009-03-10T12:29:00.001-07:00

Russell Brand.

Culturally astute as I am known for being, I had no idea who this person was when I first saw him in a promo for yesterday's Letterman. (Promos for Letterman being, for those of you not in the know, where we cultural astutians pick up all the good stuff.)

And I was like, "Check that crazy hair--who IS this person!?"

So I just now did about 10 minutes of intensive research, and here's what I'll say:

Go to Wikipedia and look him up for yourself.

Baring that, go check out this video. I'd say it's a pretty good overview of the Brand that I've come to know (again, in the last 10 minutes). Plus, I found what he had to say about freedom and living to be really interesting. Taken, particularly, in the context of grace and the following of Jesus. My favorite was what he said about getting past the initial hedonistic implications of a life lived free of fear.

Which is totally worth doing.

The American Dream makes my tummy hurt

2009-03-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

From the story of a dream coming true...

At Sunday's auction, he tried to keep the knots in his stomach in check.
It was a madhouse at the convention center, where speakers blasted bids throughout the room. Finally, after more than four hours, Guevares' dream house came up for bids.

An auctioneer barked out bids and tuxedoed assistants ran up and down the aisle. Guevares made the opening bid, but in a heartbeat, at least two other competitors jumped in.

The bids climbed. They went past $100,000, and eventually $200,000.

Guevares looked shell-shocked, but he ended up with the winning bid: $230,000.

Although he put down about $12,000 in cash, he's not the home's proud owner just yet. He might have to bring the house up to code before he can apply for a loan. He has 30 days to seal the deal, and the clock is ticking.

Still, he said he can "see the light at the end of the tunnel."

"It's just wonderful. I feel I'm a part of the American experience now," Guevares said.

"Are you a Christian hipster?"

2009-03-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

If you are, it's pretty likely you should add Andy Whitman to the list of things you dig, Daddy-O.

Christian hipster.
http://andywhitman.blogspot.com/2009/03/are-you-christian-hipster.html

Proclaiming the Lies

2009-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

It's a lot easier to proclaim the lies than the truth.

Anybody can pick a viewpoint, soundbite, song lyric or book jacket, whip up a strawman, and throw a match.

That's not really what we're supposed to be doing.

Oh, but it does burn brightly!

Ants

2009-01-21T18:05:00.001-08:00

At one time, there were ants on my workbench.

And they crawled onto my computer.

Sometimes when I was away.
Sometimes dropping from above, as I worked.
Sometimes under the lid--a surprise for me, when I opened it.
Sometimes on the keyboard.

Sometimes, in low light, they would make their way across the screen. Back-lit silhouettes, frantically pioneering through pixels and light.

And I killed them. All.

But sometimes I still see them on my keyboard.

Parenting Insights for Those Who Clearly Don't Know Where to Get Their Insights: "Addressing Hygiene Issues"

2009-01-20T18:47:00.000-08:00

Me (to child, as I pass through the room): "You're kinda stinky. Did you know that?"

Child (pausing for thought): "Well, I just farted..."

Me (leaving room): "Well, there ya go."

Fin

Yeah, yeah...

2009-01-10T08:51:00.001-08:00

...I'm getting to it.

Most of my thoughts these days are had while running from one hat-peg to the next, or while wearing one of my many non-blogging hats.

I'll try to remember a few things to blog about later, but will most likely fail.

Don't worry, though. I'm sure I'll stumble across the same thoughts again later, and they'll be just as freshly irrelevant and unprofound as they would have been originally.

I think maybe I'm a genius

2008-11-24T09:08:00.001-08:00

I think maybe I'm a genius.

I enjoy wearing scarves. I spill a lot of things. I have great ideas, but seem to accomplish very little.

All of this points to "genius," I think.

Although.. I'm not a bad little dancer.. and I think that counts against me.

I'll keep running tests and get back to you with more data.

(or "datum".. I'm never sure..)

Voting, Blogging, and Word Substitution. Also, funny comix! Yay!

2008-11-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

I am a super-lousy blogger, so here is my peace offering to the blogosphere for today. (note: it is totally stolen)

For more play-along-fun at home, visit the link and just insert the word "blog," or forms of said word, anywhere you find any use of the word "vote."

Wholly appropriate.

ROCK THE VOTE! "COFFEE/DONUTS" IN 2012! AN AMERICA WE CAN EAT! ..or.. imbibe.. or whatever. (isn't one of the current candidates "imbibe".. is that going to confuse our constituents..?)

I gotta go write a memo and some talking points. Catch you later, America.

The Guide

2008-09-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSLH9268320080917?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

Douglas Adams' famous "Hitchiker's Guide" series will be getting a sixth installment.

Obviously not from Adams, because he's dead.

No, the final book of the series (unless, I assume, it turns out to be incredibly lucrative) will be written by Irish author Eoin (or something like that) Colfer.

Colfer is famous for writing a children's series called "Artemis Fowl," which my kids love.

Strangely enough, I was just thinking about the Guide yesterday, trying to remember when I first picked it up, and if I could drop it on The Boy yet. ...I'm thinking that perhaps I was more aware of Some Things when I was in 6th grade than he is. Because there are Some Things in there that I don't remember being particularly startled by--but I'm betting he would. So maybe not quite yet. : [

Honestly, book 4 of the Adams series is pretty lousy, and while book 5 is much better, it is also much darker. I've never been compelled to re-read 4 and 5 (Wait.. I take that back. I re-read 4 just to see if it was really as bad as I had thought. And it was.), whereas I've read the first 3 dozens of times.

Regardless, it sounds like I'll be reading book 6 next year. There you go, Guide fans.

To everything, there is a season.

2008-09-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

My personal favorite, currently, is fresh garlic. Although I'm a long-time fan of onions. Which is at least related, I guess.. so probably anything in that family would go over well with me. Garlic, onion, chives, leeks.

But that's not why you called.

A new season, unrelated to garlic, is upon us here in the Cap house, and I thought I should take a moment and reflect. (This would be your moment that I'm taking, so I hope you're not too busy. Or too difficult to entertain.)

Deb accepted a job today.

(B'JAM!)

So we are officially no longer in danger of having live in a cardboard box underneath an overpass.

Not that we ever really were. Seriously. God's been plenty good to us, in one way and another, and we haven't really suffered any financial hardship. The only way we've suffered is emotionally, and that, really, is our own fault. We knew in our heads that everything was going to be fine, but sometimes even when you know things in your head, it's hard to convince your heart.

And so begins the next season of life.

It's not such a big deal, I guess. It feels like we've never been in stasis. Not since we began all this business back in the early 90's. But this is a little different. It's been about 15 years since Deb and I have been pointed, as persons, in these directions--her as a career woman, and me as a musician (which is where the bulk of my focus will be, but i'm still going to have to be a painter, writer, etc... or we'll probably have to find that overpass, after all).

Fifteen years--a long time by most standards, and with a lot of additional complications. There's a family here this time. All the kids and school stuff still needs to happen. Budgets still need handled. Calendars must still be kept. Mortgages must be paid. And then, of course, we're 15 years older, too. I'm not a person who believes that there's a time of life by which you're required to have all your crap together... but if I were... it's about here.

It's a new chance to succeed. A chance to fail. A chance to have faith, to fall down, to stretch and grow and learn new things about ourselves and the world and God, and how those all fit together. It's both exciting and terrifying. There will probably be some crying involved. But I guess it's also the most satisfying part of life, and the most satisfying way to live.

If you can get over yourself. Which is the biggest challenge in it all. : ]

And those are my reflections today, at least right now, on the situation at hand. I'm sure I'll have a few more, 'cause I'm a guy given to reflection and analysis. That's just how I roll. But for now this is where I stand--excited, frightened, very proud of my wife. (Who is, you know, totally The Best. Period. And she's going to do awesome, because she is awesome. I'm completely psyched for her.) Standing on the edge. Glad to see the end of this passing season and ready to bore headlong into a new one.

Buoyed by grace. Thankful for love.

And pretty sure that garlic isn't even really, technically, a seasoning.

"Yes, but.. qualifications..!" Say it with me, people.

2008-09-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

I've worked with a lot of people, in a bunch of different fields.

And I know, that this is the point in the blog where you're all expecting me to either make a case for why someone is qualified for something presidentially-related, or to lampoon said qualifications.

But I'm not going to.

I've worked with a lot of people, in a bunch of different fields. Some qualified and some not. And by far... by far, far, farfar... the unqualified people win. I've worked with a host of qualified idiots. It's amazing what you can get on a resume, and still not be able to pull your hand away from a hot stove without direct orders from a superior.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY that being unqualified makes you MORE qualified. That is insane.

It is to say that, in my experience, personal and professional, being qualified doesn't seem to really matter all that much.

I'm just sayin'.

So, the reason that I'm not discounting Palin is the same reason that I never discounted Obama.

Also, I'm not sure I care that much. But that's another blog.

Everybody's a comedian... or an iguana.

2008-08-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Emma was sick all day yesterday.

Last night, after most of the carnage was over, she and her old dad hung out at the kitchen table for about an hour, swapping stories and jokes over flat Sprite and plain toast. It was a good time, and I wish I got more time like that with her.

Unfortunately, she has to be sick-unto-death before she'll slow down long enough for these kinds of conversations. : ]

All the jokes were made up on the spot. And this was my favorite:

Emma: A talking comedian walks into a bar...

Me: Aren't all comedians talking comedians?

Emma: Oh.. wait! I mean an iguana.

Me: (hysterical laughter)

I don't remember the rest of the joke. It had something to do with hitting people on the head (with a bar, of course) and blending into the background.

You know. Like how comedians do.

La peinture est la vie

2008-08-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

"The paint is the life"

Update, for anyone who happens to be lurking in the shadows around this blog, wondering what's up with my life. I am, at this point, a full-time house painter.

It's been a long, long time since that's been my main gig--and even when it was, I was working for someone else, not as an independent contractor. But I can honestly say that I really do enjoy painting, and I've never regretted learning the trade. It's been a good friend to me over the years, and now it's really coming through in the clinch.

There's still a plan here, for Deb to land an accounting job and become the primary breadwinner. At which point (depending on just how much bread she wins) my painting with become more of a peripheral occupation, bringing in some extra cash while I try and focus on writing, performing and recording.

We thought (and continue to think) that it's a good plan. However, despite all of our good-plan-thinking, things have thus far failed to click into place.

Thus, the painting.

So, until things do click, we appreciate your prayers, your friendship, and most of all.. any painting work you can throw my way. ;-]

review in review

2008-07-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

The the award for best opening line of an album review, in recent memory (which is really, really recent, given the state of my memory), goes to reviewer Jesse Jarnow of Paste magazine, for his first salvo in response to Sub Pop's 20th anniversary reissue of Mudhoney's "Superfuzz Bigmuff" (Deluxe Edition, of course).

"Before grunge turned into the grace and pain of St. Kurt and the meathead oomph of Nickelback, it was garage rock. More specifically, it was Mudhoney, and they were really drunk."

Thanks for tuning in, folks. That's how we do it here on the Cap blog. Some days it's all grace. Some days it's all minutiae. And some days it's really drunk.

Minimal

2008-07-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

We went to Atlanta.

It was cool.

We also went to Nashville.

It was also cool.

We're back.

Mmm... gooose...

2008-06-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

How can what's good for the goose always be what's good for the gander?

This is not only a stupid and obviously false claim, but also a blatantly goose-ist and offensively anti-ganderite statement.

Going off the Depp end

2008-06-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe that Jack White (of White Stripes/Rancontuers fame) is headed for a mental breakdown. Or another mental breakdown. Whatever.

I don't honestly know a lot about him, and, though I really like all the music that I've heard from him, I haven't bothered to follow him closely. Lord knows I don't need to--if you're even remotely involved/interested in indie rock music, everyone else is tailgating him so hard that you're bound to stumble over a White-induced rear-ender during every other morning commute.

But even to a casual observer like me, he's obviously getting twitchier all the time.

In my brain... where there's lots of room for this type of thought-train to wind around through the breezy mountain passes... he bears a strong resemblance to another brilliant, twitchy favorite: Mr. Johnny Depp.

Depp, strangely (there's an unnecessary word pairing for you), while known almost as much for his idiosyncratic edgyness as his brilliant work, seems to be doing a supremely good job of not going wheels-off-the-track on everyone, all the time.

Which makes me think that maybe, despite my dire prediction, there's hope for Mr. White. I think... that his salvation may be found in Mr. Depp.

I suggest they go bowling. And have a nice long chat.

Also, I would like the film rights to that encounter.

Thank you and goodnight.

Rubbing the Antennae

2008-06-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

I think that, in a way, we're like random worker ants.

We've probably met before, or share some common experience, as common ants.

And then occasionally, making our anonymous way across the middle of a great expanse, we meet. Or re-meet.

And we pause, briefly, or even at length (depending on the circumstance) and rub antennae.

And then we move along.

Naked faith

2008-06-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Faith is more resilient than optimism.

But naked faith fails to hold the same saccharine attraction as faith accessorized by bubbly emotion and self-generated stick-to-it-iveness.

When those outer trappings are stripped away, all that remains is plain spoken, rawboned determination. A pioneer spirit. One that persists, but doesn't soar. A pilgrim's progress.

This modest garment of faith will never walk the red carpet. It will never sign autographs or become the whispered tabloid buzz of a thousand coffee-stirred conversations. It will never capture the fleeting attention of the masses.

But it will entirely transform the lives of a handful. Those of us who are standing up close enough to see it, and the dirt in its details.

And the magnetism of that small, quiet transformation is more powerful and impacting than all the sugar-glue in the world. It may not be pretty, but it's beautiful. Beyond words. Beyond understanding.

And certainly beyond optimism.

Death by a thousand cuts

2008-05-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

I've been up in the attic, and there's something I don't understand.

I don't understand the through process behind fiberglass insulation. I guess there were two scientists.. or material engineers or something.. and it went kind of like this:

Guy 1: "Hey, what is that stuff.. you know, the stuff that's the sharpest thing on earth?"

Guy 2: "You mean glass?"

Guy 1: "Yeah! Hey, do you think we could get that in a fiber form?"

Guy 2: "Yes! Excellent idea. I'll get right on it."

It isn't good to crawl around in, is all I'm saying.

The Creation of the Ultimate Blog

2008-05-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

The following is totally stolen from Brant's blog. If you want to see it in context, it's located in the comments section of this post. I just think it is a beautiful, eloquent statement of simple faith, so I'm passing it along to all my readers. Both of them. In case they don't find it on their own.

Now, don't let the fact that the post has fake comments on it prevent you from moving on to the real comments section. See, the thing going on here is that Brant writes a post called "If Jesus had a Blog," and then says what Jesus already said, and then lets everyone react--in much the same manner that everyone reacted when Jesus originally said it.

Results include, but are not limited to: Hilarity, sorrow, irony, frustration, and (the most incredible achievement of all) the creation of the Ultimate Blog--one which both comments on itself, and self-mocks it's own commenters.

It's the Circle of Life! (sniff)...

--------------------------

"Love the Lord with all your heart...and neighbor..." is not just another checklist item of things to do. Jesus said his collection of teachings was LIGHT. He said everything else could be summed up with that. Everything. No one seems to believe me when *I* say it, but Jesus said that. I think we miss out if we think this is just the checklist item the guy hadn't crossed off yet. It's the whole ballgame.

I think we're so primed by our theology and complexifying that we miss the simple. I get lectured at by people who think that, in my simplicity, I'm at the very beginning, and haven't encountered the great theological mysteries and working-out of the formulas. But I'm not at the beginning, and I've heard their arguments, and once offered them myself.

But I now agree with Ricoeur: There is a second naivete, at the far side of complexity.

And it's sweet.

We work out these formulas and such, but Jesus lays out judgment in Matthew 25, too. What are we to do with that? And yet it fits perfectly with this.

And a WONDERFUL thing about Matthew 25: It doesn't say "if you've done it unto the least of these" as most suppose. It says if you've done it unto ONE of the least of these, you've done it unto me.

We love to quantify and make a mathematical standard out of LOVE, even. But a child can understand the kingdom. I sit here a horrible sinner, but you know what? Even in my sin -- shoot, because of it -- I can say, yes, I love God.

Again, why would someone who DOESN'T love God even WANT to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? If people don't want Him as He is -- authority and all -- Heaven would be rather horrible, wouldn't it?

Could God be so good as to allow the simple to simply love Him, and then He receive them into His Kingdom? Could it be possible?

As for "assurance" -- some kind of mathematical, "you did it, you're in" checklist or whatever -- no one can ever offer that. We're all ultimately dependent on God's goodness, and I'm banking on it, I can tell you, and I get the feeling, from reading more and more about Jesus, God really IS that good. He really is.

I'm not a universalist, I'm a theological conservative. But no, I don't know the wideness of God's mercy, I can't measure it, and it will seem perfectly like Jesus if, in his Kingdom, he welcomes us, and other tipsy stragglers, who just honestly love him.

-------------------------

Whole lotta shakin'/Who's more well-liked than you?

2008-04-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

We had an earthquake.

Matthew said, when I went to see what was shaking the whole house, "Dad! What was that!? It's freaking me out!"

I think that wraps it up nicely.

In other news...

Hey people who believe/don't believe stuff! Ever wonder how popular or unpopular you really are? Here's a handy chart from Gallup* that not only shows who's more well-liked than you, but also includes percentages, so you can see exactly how much more. (Thanks Dave, for the heads up!)

I think this chart shows** that people's tolerance for any group is in reverse proportion to the perception of how strongly held its beliefs are. And I've created my own chart to further illustrate this point:

**With the exception of the Baptist ranking, which I'm pretty sure is an anomaly. See second chart, below, for further illustration.

*Here's the link to the entire Gallup article. Which is really focused more on America's feelings toward Catholics, but isn't as interesting (to me) as the broader analysis.

Yes, we have no blognanas

2008-04-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

...we have no blognanas. Today.

Sorry, folks. I'm tired. I'm the workin'est unemployed guy you know, and this/last week really took it out of me.

You know what I like? I like guitar music. It's a good thing. That is all.

Happy Easter

2008-03-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

Happy belated Easter, everybunny. I don't load pics onto my computer in a very timely fashion, I'm afraid...

I laughed. I cried.

2008-03-17T07:23:00.000-07:00

Salt & A Battery

2008-03-06T12:19:00.000-08:00

Is there anything cool that you can do with salt and a battery?

Because "Salt & A Battery" would be a really cool title for a blog post describing said unsaid thing.

Particularly if that thing resulted in injury.

I'm just sayin'.

that's the rub

2008-03-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

rub
just enough
just a touch
even rough

if that's what it takes
if that's what makes you go away

Rub, rub..

shake
in my shoes
but never move
in my faith in you

take
this away
i know you can
but never do

and that's the rub

rub
just enough
just a touch
even rough

rub, rub, rub

The checks (and other stuff) are in the mail

2008-03-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

I'm wearing a lot of hats these days.

I know, a lot of people wear a lot of hats every day. Mothers, in particular. But those people can get their own blog if they want to wax poetic over their haberdashery. This is my rack, thanks.

For the past twelve years or so, I've pretty much just worn the "breadwinner/husband/father" combo that is so popular with the American Male Patriarch set. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Try to help out. Do it again.

But now I'm branching out. (heading out?) Sure, I still go forth some mornings, lunch pail in hand, to do the job and bring the bacon. But I'm also putting on another cap--or two, or four. Entrepreneurial ones, with a matching salesman's jacket. Student garb (flip flops and pajama pants in the snow, and the obligatory iPod, from what I've seen on campus). And the writers.. whatever.. And the musician's.. whatever, as well. (What kind of hats do writers and musicians wear, anyway? Something with a golden "M" stitched into it, I wouldn't be surprised...)

And others. For example, yesterday I was a clerk. Things surrounding this change in employment had to be done: Government agencies had to be called; forms tracked down, gathered, filled out and mailed; Invoices sent, and schedules made. It was like being back at the old office job, except with a larger sense of purpose. Self preservation, I suppose.

Except... I'm not really convinced that I'm preserving myself.

Not that I didn't do a bang-up job, mind you! I didn't spend better than a decade in the white-collar trenches and not learn how to shuffle some sheets, my friend. Don't kid yourself; I rocked the block. Things are moving! Things are shaking! The checks are in the mail!

It's just that I don't think I'm so much responsible for the checks that are in the mail. Or for preserving myself. Or for.. well, really for any of this.

Don't get me wrong--I'm doing my part. But I don't think it's all this cap-wearing that's getting the job done. There are things floating around out there besides checks that make it possible for me to live with and in my current circumstances. A lot of things.

Exhibit A: God. (okay, so I can't exhibit God, but I think God exhibits himself, pretty much) You're either going to see this one or you aren't. But from my vantage point, there's a lot of God in this. And not just as some puppet-master, pulling the strings of circumstance to bring me to this point. Not that I don't think he was involved, but I think that my actions and choices have had real consequences, so I've had a lot to do with bringing me to where I am today. (and if they don't, then I'd like to ask God a couple questions, because there are some things I take issue with!) No, the real exhibit here is me--I wouldn't be who I am today, with the perspectives and general sense of well-being that I have, if not for God in my life. Stuff happens, and I can either choose to fight with it or learn from it, following the example that I see Jesus putting out there. I've tried to choose the latter as much as possible, and it has changed who I am, at my core. But I find I'm not able to choose it on my own. I'm only able to choose to put myself in his hands, and let the Spirit lead me. When I do that, it works. That's real, it's tangible, and it's not of myself.

Exhibit B: Other people. The folks at Spinlight, who sent me off with not only encouragement and promises of future help, but also some extra pay, a new laptop, rockin' studio monitors and even an iPhone. My incredible wife (and you're right, Doug, I know exactly how lucky I am), who, despite what I know to be her fears, can say something as selfless as "this is your chance to do what you want to do." How much more beautiful can someone be than that? My family, who is always there to lend a hand, whatever that might entail. My friends, who encourage and hold me up, and pray for me, and give me great advice when I ask for it (and usually not when I don't). Even anonymous people--last week we got a card in the mail from someone, and there was a Walmart gift card inside! Wow! Someone thinks we're a worthy cause. Do you know what that means, in a world of causes? Most of them are more worthy than us, but somebody (and apparently somebody we don't even know that well) loves us enough to throw us into the mix, anyway. That's pretty amazing.*

So I'm wearing all these caps. And I'm trying to wear them as jauntily as possible. I'm straightening my brims and smoothing my feathers. And I know it makes a difference.

But for all my wearing and straightening, I still can't deliver. Not ultimately. I'm not the one signing on the line. I'm not the bank, or the notary, or the accountant. I'm not even the postman. I absolutely believe that the checks (and other stuff) are in the mail. I'm seeing that come together on a daily basis. I'm just not fooling myself into thinking that I'm the one responsible for it.

And I'm immensely thankful.
-----

* The gift card actually said "Congratulations!" on it. How funny is it to get a congratulatory gift for losing your job--and how much funnier that it could actually seem appropriate?

Time to take out the trash

2008-03-01T08:12:00.001-08:00

I know. I know. I'm terribly sorry.

Both of my readers (my wife + whoever you are) are probably really disappointed in my lack of blogging lately.

"It's not like you have a job or anything taking up all your free time. Loser."

They say. In my head.*

Well, it turns out that being unemployed keeps you pretty busy.

I had no idea. I had assumed that the primary occupations of the de-occupied were as follows:

a.) willing self to get out of bed
b.) deciding which pair of mismatched socks and ratty boxer shorts to don and shuffle around in
c.) eating ice cream from the box while slumped on the couch watching "Days of Our Lives"
d.) saving money on shaving cream and razors

But, instead, I'm finding that my newfound freedom from the shackles of gainful employment brings along with it a whopping dose of new tasks and responsibilities.

Errands to run. Messes to clean. Broken things to fix. People's needs to meet. Surgeries to have. Old job skills to brush up on. New networking to be done. Plans to make. A future to secure.

Oh. Yeah. And also, I'm supposed to be taking this opportunity to write and play music.

Like I've always wanted to do.

My whole life.

Really, that's not an "and also." That was--according to this very loose plan-ish thing that Deb and I had--sort of supposed to be "The Main Thing." But I'm finding I have other things to do.

Like taking out the trash.

Not literally. We're not so trashy around here that we generate enough refuse to keep one man busy full time. But figuratively, I fall prey to what I call a "taking out the trash" tendency.

My gorgeous, loving and inexplicably supportive wife points out that this is really an opportunity for me to pursue "the rock and roll lifestyle"** I so richly deserve. We're generally okay, financially, and optimistic about what the next year will bring. God is in His Heaven, and things are taken care of as best they can be without me running out and snatching the first job that comes available. So all I've got to do is take some time each day for writing and playing, and we'll see what we can make out of that, living-wise.

But I'm having a really hard time actually. doing. it. Because, you know, there are so many more important things to do. So many things that a "normal," "rational" person would do. Things that conceivably have some kind of payoff--be it financial or just pleasing-to-others. Things that are "serious," "realistic," and "contributing something." Things that are, essentially, not considered "fooling around."

So.. the good news? There's pudding! The bad news? You can't have it if you don't eat your meat. And, more bad news, there is a LOT of meat, my friend. We're way up past our ears in it.

And while I don't feel it in my conscious mind, I'm sure there's a big dose of, "If you don't try you can't fail" swimming around down in there. Set the bar low, right? It's a heck of a lot safer. People would probably still respect you (maybe) if you managed to make a living as a house painter, or half a living as a commercial producer.. but they're certainly not going to respect you (and you probably shouldn't either) if you spend every day holed up in the basement writing and playing guitars. Less so if it turns out you kinda suck at it.

The direct result of all this trash-taking is that I haven't been writing here. Or anywhere, really. Or giving you any new music to chew on. So I'm sorry about that. And I promise I'm going to do better. Really. I know that we're being taken care of. I know that I should be taking this opportunity to Rock the Block. I know that I need to stuff my stupid tendencies right down to the bottom of the receptacle. And I know that if I don't I'll regret it forever.

But don't let that promise, or this demonstration of my fantastic perspective, keep you from encouraging me to keep at it. Or praying for God to encourage me. Or sending me emails that say, "It's not like you have a job or anything taking up all your free time. Loser." Whatever you think will work best.

And I'll make the kids take out the trash.

-----

*Not my wife. She never says that, even in my head. But I'm pretty sure you do.

**Although she did ask me when I thought the rock and roll lifestyle would start paying off. I said "about 12 months," but this recent study is less promising.

food, love and rock and roll -- i've got it good

2008-02-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

Try not to envy me; I'm sure it's not permanent.

; ]

Pre-de-herniation preparation

2008-02-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

For the last three (working) days, I've been working a paint job with Dan and his dad. Good stuff. Good money. And I could be working most of today, too, but I felt like I needed a day at home to get my feet on the ground before they are forcibly removed from it tomorrow (when I go in for a double-hernia repair surgery).

Deb is helping me get my stuff together (as per usual). And Emma is playing with G.I. Joe. She took all his clothes off and then presented me with Naked Joe and a blue-ish hair scarf, proclaiming, "Here. Make him look like Jesus!"

I told her he wasn't going to look like Jesus no matter what I did, but she persisted until Naked Joe was wrapped, from shoulder to mid-thigh, in shimmering blue flowered polyester.

He does not look like Jesus.

Regardless, now she's running around the living room, singing:

Oh, Mighty God!
You've got flowers on your robe!
I know you made the springtime,
'cause you've got flowers on your robe.

Oh, Mighty God!
You've got flowers on your robe!
I don't know who put them there,
but they look mighty nifty!

I feel more prepared already, and it's only 10:30 AM.

I have got to buy these kids some decent music...

things i like

2008-02-09T15:52:00.000-08:00

Today I went and worked a paint job with my friend Dan and his dad. Here are some things that it occurred to me I like about my current circumstances.

~ I like all the days being the same. Weekdays. Weekends. Doesn't matter to me. The only thing that changes is whether or not the kids are home from school.

~ I like boiling water to make coffee in the morning. I like drinking it from a travel mug. While wearing my work coat. In the cold clunkiness of my car on the way to a job.

~ I like missing my little studio, and my writing, and learning about stuff. Even though it hurts my brain.

~ I like setting a goal for the day and meeting it.

~ I like Dan. (And his dad.) It's been a long time since I've gotten to work with him, and I've really missed it.

~ I like coming home. And being home.

Unemployment (or self employment) is a lot of hard work. And it generally doesn't pay very well. But it did today. Here's to more of the same.

No timely like the present

2008-01-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hey thanks, Brant, for doing your Casting Crowns promo just as I am starting to try to do commercial radio production on my own. It's somehow simultaneously discouraging and inspiring--I can't quite explain it. And the same can be said for Shaun's early songwriting career revelations. How timely. How relevant.

Speaking of timely and relevant, I really want to update the blog with something substantial, but I just don't have time. Apparently, not being gainfully employed requires a TON of work. I can't wait until I land a few jobs so I can slow down.

It turns out

2008-01-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

...I still know how to rock.

Remember my awesome new job?

2008-01-19T14:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't have that anymore. : (

Sorry.

I'll talk more about that in future posts, but I thought I would go ahead and put it up here, because I know there will be people who come here before I get around to telling them.

It's all okay. And no, we don't really know what we're going to do about it. We'll do something, for sure.

I'm not sad I took it, and I'm not sad I had it. I'm not sad, particularly, about things that I am taking away from it. I am sad... horribly sad... as all of us here at the Cap house are, that I lost it.

But that's okay.

Seriously.

-j

Under the Covers: Secret Dangers of Rock & Roll

2008-01-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

The danger in playing cover tunes is being made painfully aware just how substandard your own original compositions are.

Why the world hates Christians

2008-01-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

...and why even other Christians find them pretty much annoying... is that Christianity, at large, is guilty of focusing on and preaching a message different than the one Jesus gave us in the first place.

Jesus said, as best I recall, that following him was about transformation. Both of our selves (into the likeness of Christ), and of the world.

"Gospel" means "good news." And didn't Jesus say something about preaching, "the good news of the kingdom"?

I'll post more about this soon. I've been having a little mental question & answer with myself for a while now about why evangelism annoys me--or at least why our compulsive, laser-like focus on evangelism annoys me--but I haven't yet taken the time to bust out the research materials to see how bad of a heretic I really am.

Not at all profound. Regardless of what you might think.

2008-01-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

Blue Sky
and there you are
far above it all.
bright windows warm with blue sky
and prairie sun.

there's nothing more satisfying
than making your own way.
and no place better suited
than where you are today.

breaking all the boundaries
remaking all the rules
riding out the consequence of
what you did and didn't do

happy ever after in
a tower made
of woven wires and dreams
nothing more to bring

How I became the world's most productive copywriter

2008-01-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

words of wisdom (quotable quotes)

2008-01-05T10:36:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling the press to write. But I'm afraid I just can't at the moment. (This aptly demonstrated through the sin of omission that is the current state of my blog)

Too much stuff going on, punctuated only by short bursts during which i feel compelled to do nothing at all. So it's sort of two steps backward... the end.

In the meantime, here are some really great words that someone else wrote. Namely, Bill Mallonee. Mr Mallonee is one of my favorite lyricists of all time, and it's a crying shame that not more people know who he is. Maybe these lines will encourage you to get to know him. (whoever you might be)

PARTING SHOT
words of wisdom quotable quotes
reader's digest sayings for those losing hope
why do i feel so mocked by the hands of the clock
well anchor me down to the solid rock
i want to leave you with something but i almost forgot
was it a closing statement or a parting shot
well you lie on the flowers here in the wind
i've twisted it all with original sin
there's a knowledge i traded a long time ago
well i bartered it off for these rags i call clothes
i learned how to fake it and remake it on cue
but i swear i never stopped needing you
there's a question forming out here in the dark
in the heavy air all around my heart
now laden with consequence chain link fence
and shot through with all manner of lies
i've been trapped in and caught
and the world like a tempest in your ears doth roar
and the flesh wants to dress up and play your whore
and the devil wants to cast all manner of doubt
on the real lover with the key dying to let you out
from the bars that you fashioned with your stolen clout
well i may be confused but i'll play my hunch
did it feel like a kiss or a counter-punch
evening is closing and the kid drones on and on and on
well get out your car keys i hope this is his last song
wait it's bigger than life it is gracious and grand
something a child readily understands
hey you know i sure could use a new suit of clothes
see i'm gone all threadbare and my shoes are worn
now the flowers are growing right out of these bones
and i hear the trumpet sounding like louis armstrong
when the great divorce happens hide me in your song
though i don't deserve it and i don't belong
i want to leave you with something will you take it to heart
are you a closing statement or a parting shot

Some say the best things come in small packages

2007-12-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

For everyone else, there's...

GREATBIGSTUFF.COM !!!

Common object. Uncommonly BIG sizes! Orders placed now can still arrive by Christmas.

Feet per Second, Tom Petty and the Theory of Relativity

2007-12-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of being tired
sure as night will follow day
most things I worry about
never happen anyway

--Tom Petty "Crawling back to you"

We are not good at being settled in our discontent. Once we experience unpleasant emotions, feelings or circumstances, we immediately begin slinging possible antidotes at our symptoms, hoping desperately that one of them will fix the problem--and then sinking further into misery with our repeated failures at self-healing.

Let the fires burn around you. Will they get worse with time? Most likely. But in most cases, there is no ultimate danger of being consumed. Only of being uncomfortable. Don't panic. Don't act. Persevere. It is only in the waiting that we have time to reflect on ourselves and our situation. To gain perspective, insight, and then draw a bead on the one true culprit.

Ironically, once we have him in our sights, release rarely comes from a squeeze of the trigger. Any more than did our earlier, rapid-fire attempts. Usually, by the time we've aligned the crosshairs, our tormentor has waddled out of range.

Slowly out-pacing any bullet faster than time itself.

oh wow!

2007-11-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

I really need to update the blog, don't I?

Sorry, I got really busy. The final week and a half-ish prior to Thanksgiving was nuts, with me working on writing things most nights. It was a big push of work and stuff right up until we left. Taking an extra day off of work didn't help, but I was glad I did.

The long weekend was a good one. We ate entirely too much, but we spent way more time just relaxing than we did eating, and we definitely needed that.

Wednesday was pretty relaxed, with everyone arriving at the folks'. Then Thursday we headed to my grandparents' house and had dinner with the rest of the family--aunts, uncles, cousins. Thursday was also Deb's birthday, but not much happened with that, because when you have your birthday on Thanksgiving, the day is all taken up with one holiday already! I was going to get her a frozen pie from the Jarling's this year, but I couldn't because they were closed. :-(
I went busting over there Tuesday afternoon, trying to be sneaky, and when I got there I found the whole place transformed into a Christmas tree stand. Stupid people and their pre-Thanksgiving Christmas trees! Rant rant rant!! {shakes fist angrily}

Thursday night, Scott, dad and I headed down to the river cabin. We hunted ducks Friday and Saturday morning, and it was a really good weekend for it. Plenty cold, but not cold enough to actually injure yourself. There were a lot of diving ducks on the pool. More than there have been since I was in high school, so it was kind of a nostalgic experience.

The ducks reported no feelings of nostalgia.

But they will be tasty, I'm sure.

Friday night mom & dad took the kids to see Christmas lights, and we went out to dinner with Lisa and Scott. There's a pretty nice place there on the river at Burlington, and we had a good time. We weren't really hungry, but the food was still tasty, and we watched "Flight of the Conchords" on the iPhone, so a good time all around.

And last night we came home, to start getting our head back in the game. Hello, Game! Nice to see ya.

They get that from me

2007-11-12T16:16:00.000-08:00

I'm often amazed how my kids can know almost literally nothing and yet go on and on about it. Endless pontification based in ignorance.

But then it occurs to me that pretty much anything they do they had to learn from someone.

Anywho... here's something interesting!

It's about giving away super cool laptop computers to poor kids all over the world. And to yourself at the same time.

On one hand, it is totally lampoon-able. Because.. I mean.. "Hey destitute kid! Have a laptop!"

But on the other, much less cynical hand, it's pretty cool. Don't be a hater--if it's that cool it must be somehow worthwhile!

Overheard

2007-11-07T05:51:00.000-08:00

This morning, on a christian radio station promo spot:

"I don't have to worry about turning the radio down," said a mother's voice...

"I don't have to explain the songs to my kids."

Super!

Because I would hate to have to step away from myself long enough to explain songs to my kids. Or even think about them! Why talk about the impact and perspective of secular songs when we could just turn on the box marked "Jesus"? The one which, apparently, doesn't require any explanation or discussion about impact and perspective.

We live an insular faith. Which begs the question.. is it even possible to "live" an insular faith? Does such a thing exist? And it's not just about having our own version of YouTube, MySpace and Wikipedia. Although we do. (Double Super!) It's about never rubbing up against anything, including each other, and quite possibly the God that we claim to love.

This Sunday I went to a church that I've only been to once before. There are thousands of people who go there--it's literally swarming with bodies. And they have a great band, and cool lighting... video, glittery-robed choir, charming and personable pastor... But it struck me during the service that a person can quite literally go through the entire process of attending this church without participating in it one little bit.

Now, if you count showing up in the same room, singing the same songs, and drinking your juice at the same moment as "participating," then this is where our paths will diverge, I guess. Because I don't. When I can walk from my car, through the doors, to the bathrooms, to the sanctuary, be ushered to a seat, and then go through a service, communion, get back up and repeat the process.. and the biggest interaction required is a friendly nod and an uncomfortable handshake.. I think we're working with a model that's inherently busted.

Following Jesus is a participatory process. God participates within himself--a neat "triune personality" trick, and if you can pull it off please stop reading now--and so completes himself. And when God invites us, calls us, to be saved, he invites us to join the circle. To be participatory with him and like him. This is no accident. This is a necessary piece of a transformative process. And transformation is all-too-obviously necessary for us to be complete in a way anything resembling God.

Transformation doesn't take place from within. Even if you're of the "all I need is the Holy Spirit and my Bible" camp, the tools of your purported transformation aren't of yourself. We don't come with the Spirit pre-installed and a copy of Strong's Exhaustive Concordance strapped to our back. Iron sharpens iron, but only if you've got two pieces of iron. And, regardless of whether you've got the Spirit and/or a clever hinging system that's still not what Jesus taught.

According to Jesus, there's a better way to live. There's truth and community and transformation. Do we want to be changed? Do we want our world to be changed? As long as "going to church" or even "listening to the radio" are christian activities we do in a vacuum, that's not going to happen.

Christianity isn't about the self; it's about the other. Because it isn't the self that changes us.

Don't eat Paste!

2007-11-05T05:51:00.000-08:00

Read it.

Paste Magazine, that is.

As the result of a terribly fortunate gift from Amy & Dave a few years ago, and a couple equally fortunate follow-ups from my awesome, lovely wife, I have had a subscription to Paste for.. golly.. 3 years?

Paste is a super magazine. Beautifully designed, for those of you who are into that kind of thing, and chock full* of great new music**, interviews, editorials, and book, game, CD and movie reviews.

And, RIGHT NOW.. FOR A LIMITED TIME...

you can get a 1 year subscription for as little as a dollar. They're running a "name your own subscription price" deal, where you literally can name the price of $1, and get 11 issues of this stellar magazine.

It's brought a lot of joy into my life, so I'm just trying to pass it on. Go hit the website and do yourself a year-long favor, my friends. And while you're at it, sign someone up for a gift subscription. (But not me, 'cause I already get it.)

* Not just the regular full. Chock full.
** There's an honest-to-goodness sampler CD of new music in every issue (and sometimes short films and stuff, too).

Jesus-Pumpkining

2007-10-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

I once went to a church where they got into a big discussion about whether or not you should participate in Halloween. A (very) few people thought it was fine. Some other people thought it was big-time EVIL. And a third contingency thought it was okay, so long as you Jesus-themed it--like by carving a cross or a dove into your pumpkin instead of scary faces.

That is not the funny part. The funny part is a quote from the youth minister (quiet seriously, I'm afraid), who in order to rebuke this heresy of Jesus-Pumpkining said:

"Carving a cross in a pumpkin is like putting a bible verse on a condom!"

The worst part is, I've never been able to figure out whether or not it would really be such a bad idea to put verses on your condoms. :-\

He's so dreamy!

2007-10-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

A little boy from Emma's school drove past as Deb was picking her up:

Emma: Mom, do you know that boy?
Deb: No. Do you?
Emma: No.. but I want to.
Deb: (pause) Why do you want to know him?
Emma: Because he is a real boy.
Deb: Well, aren't the boys in your class real boys?
Emma: Yeah.. but he is a rocker boy! That's why I want to know him. I saw him play air guitar on recess! I play air guitar!

I swear I can hear the sound of the motorcycle under her window right now.

Couldn't think of a good headline for this

2007-10-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

This is amazing. Just.. layers and layers.. of amazing.

Let it wash over you.

Waves of astonishment, humor and horror.
And then another wave of humor. Followed by more astonishment.
Then astonished humor. And some aghast-ness. Possibly.

Wow. Just.. wow.

Friday night

2007-10-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

Friday night, thanks almost entirely to Josh and Steph, Deb and I went to The Canopy Club with a bunch of friends to see Monte Montgomery.

Well, we didn't really go to see Monte. We went because we wanted to go. Out. With each other. And friends. To [almost anywhere but in this particular case] the Canopy.

But Monte ruled. He was like.. for about the first three songs.. a dead split between Mr. Big and Stephen Curtis Chapman. Which is not at all as unpleasant as it might at first sound. Kinda like dipping your fries in your frosty.

Later on, he went ahead and stretched out a little, and we got some shades of Satriani, Lindsey Buckingham, SRV and Lord only knows who else. The guy has got great vocals, great songs, an un-be-lievable backing band (consisting only of a drummer and a bass player, both of whom had excellent vocals), and then additionally has guitar chops that are totally ridiculous. Not just lead, not just rhythm, not just rock, country, pop or jazz. Ridiculous.

And to put the final twist in the knickers, their gear didn't show up. So the only two pieces of equipment on stage that were theirs were the bass and the guitar. No amps, rented drum kit, playing plugged straight into the PA.

To anyone who gets the chance to see this guy I say, "Go do it!"

As far as getting out of the house is concerned, that was super. In a continuing stream of pretty-lame-ness, especially for a purported musician, the Canopy is a place that I've never been. I liked it. It struck me as a pretty straight-forward rock and roll club. Not fancy. They're certainly about the rock, not the look. (or cleaning the bathrooms) And the company was good. Some parts of it especially so. : ) Of course. And we got a coffee at Espresso Royale after, and that was also good. If I ever figure out how, we need to spend some more time down there.

So thanks to the Henrys, our friends, the Canopy, Espresso Royale and some guy named Monte for a very satisfying Friday night. We owe you all [at least] one.

FINALLY open

2007-10-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Hey kids and kiddettes... The Simply Amish Furniture Boutique is now open for business!

Or at least it will be in 2 minutes.

:-]]

Walk around

2007-10-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

"More and more the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be a part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes and hugs that you do not simply like them, but you truly love them."

--Henri Nouwen

Making pearls

2007-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

There are two ways to make a pearl.

The first one happens when an oyster gets something irritating up inside its shell. And it rubs and rubs, and eventually it forms hard layers of coating, and out of what was painful and broken and scarring comes something valuable. Priceless.

The second way pearls are made is when people plant a "seed" inside an oyster's shell. A little chunk of mother-of-pearl. Clamshell. Not really pearl, but not really an offensive material, either. And it rubs and rubs. And forms its coating. And then it is harvested and sold.

Both are pearls. And the second is generally prettier than the first.

But I still like the first better.

what do i have to say?

2007-09-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

Not much. Here are some things:

I like doing things in pairs. For me, two heads are not just better than one, they are practically necessary.

I'm playing guitar for church this week.

Shaun Groves has a very sick little boy.

I'm doing a lot of work at the store. We're still going for an October 1 open date, but it'll be tough.

That's all for now. I'm going to go eat a piece of pizza.

Beautiful

2007-09-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

When you laugh and no one is watching. You are beautiful.
When you are lost in music, dancing. You are beautiful.
When you think hard, all on your own. You are beautiful.
When you care without thinking. You are beautiful.
When you can’t wait. You are beautiful.

When you know you’re a princess. You are beautiful.
When you know you’re the best. You are beautiful.
When you weren’t the one picked to win, but you did. You are beautiful.
When you let yourself shine out. You are beautiful.

When you’re hurt, but you keep swinging. You are beautiful.
When the air tears your lungs, but you keep breathing. You are beautiful.
When you know you’re broken, but you persist. You are beautiful.
When you know you’re beaten, and you cry out. You are beautiful.
When you really listen. You are beautiful.
When peace comes in sleep. You are beautiful.
When you teach me how to be. You are beautiful.

when you're hurt but you keep swinging
when you're down but you start singing
as long as you can pour it out it proves you're full
you're beautiful
you're beautiful
when you are beautiful

Today/Fish Update

2007-09-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today I have a cold.

I am taking Zicam to try and shorten it, and lessen its effects.

"Zicam: Mmm.. Zinc-y!"

In other news...

Fish update

My fish died like, two months ago. Thanks for taking an interest in current events, everybody! Like you even care.. YOU NEVER EVEN REALLY LOVED HIM AT ALL!

I am also taking some other things for my cold.*

*But nothing that really explains this post.

Did I mention?

2007-09-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

Did I mention to anyone that I was playing a show last month?

Not on this blog, I didn't. Writing here is starting to become a semi-annual affair. Things have been insane in these shrinking days of late summer... School has started, and now we're up to 3 kids in the mix. This means a dearth of "back-to-school" and "meet-the-teacher" and sundry other "time-consuming" and "overly-hyphenated" engagements.

We're not big on over-commitment (dang! there's another one!) around here. In fact, we have a rule that each kid only gets to do one thing (band, scouts, ballet, baseball, etc...). This year, everybody has a thing, but I don't think the dizzying pace will continue once we get all this other "first-of-the-year" stuff out of the way.

Did I mention Matthew was in band? Well, he is. He opted out of scouts. He wanted to play the drums (and I was totally psyched, because I felt that this was going to be the final nail in the coffin of justification that would allow me to buy a drum kit).. but it turns out you can't play percussion unless you've had two years of piano. :-p Stupid rules... So instead, he's playing trumpet. And really, I'm just as pleased. I think I'm probably going to end up learning to play the trumpet, too. : ]]

In addition to their "one thing," the boys have just started "bible bowl." Now, I realize that "one thing" plus "one other thing" is two things.. my math really isn't that bad.. but this is one thing that I've made them participate in, so it doesn't count.

Bible Bowl, for those readers too cool to know, is like Quiz Bowl. Except your only text is the bible.

Did I mention my kids are going to end up stuffed in a locker?

Ha! I kid! I know it sounds like a one-way ticket to Stuffville, but it really isn't. I should know, I did it from 7th grade to 12th, and never once spent time on the inside. Of course, I also spent 4 years on the wresting team. But maybe that can be their "one thing" later on. : )

Busy or not, I think Band 'n' Bowl are going to make for a good year. Obviously, I love the band stuff--I think I was almost as excited as Matthew about getting the trumpet. We're going to have a good time with that. And I'm glad to have the opportunity to dig through the bible with the boys. There's a lot in there that I want to share with them, and I'm not a huge fan of "Dr. Goodbody's 10 Step Devotions for the Young Man in All of Us" or whatever. Jesus said some cool stuff. Best to let him.

Phew! I'm going to stop now. There's plenty more, but if I keep mentioning one more thing, this will become a semi-annual novella, instead of a blog. Emma started ballet again.. Deb is chewing her way into the last year of college.. Hunting season has begun.. Work is still good.. Opening a furniture store within the month.. and if you want more details on that show I played, you can find them here.

A positive experience

2007-08-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm surfacing for the first time in weeks, with an observation.

We, speakers of the English language, don't have many ways to express the idea of "experience" in the positive sense.

You can "experience" something.. which is kind of neutral. Or you can "enjoy" something.. but "enjoy" is not as rich as "experience." And that's about it.

On the other hand, you can:
Endure
Go through
Live through
Stomach
Suffer
Tolerate
Survive
Undergo
Bear
Weather
Withstand

I would go on, but it's a really long list.

I'm not sure if this says something important about life, or about us. Philosophers and scholars could probably debate that for hours. But my hunch is that the only people with real insight are those who have had wedding photos taken.

Hansen's Eyebrows

2007-08-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

Hansen's Eyebrows

Use Hansen's eyebrows to play pinball.

Play this free game now!!

AND.. there's a song, too! Hansen's Eyebrows

Something by somebody else

2007-08-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Following my rich tradition of posting links to other things written by other people when I don't have a post of my own... here is a neat something about adultery.

"What's neat about adultery!?" you are likely saying.

This is. Sheesh! Don't you people read?

Really, the neat thing about this essay on adultery has little to do with adultery. It's good for that as well, I'm sure. But the iMonk throws some nicely-worded perspective on the more heady topics of "God" and "Love" that you're not going to find just banging blindly around the blogosphere. So.. enter Punchworthy. Conduit to The Coolness. You may thank me later.

Bumping the thread

2007-08-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

Hey all you out there in bloggerland... go here.

Hopefully, once the webstats for that page make it to network news headquarters, they'll realize someone cares about the story. Maybe all the hostages will even still be alive by the time people find out about them!

If you like, maybe even post a link to the story, or the video, on your own blog. I wonder if this is up on youtube yet..? I'll check later, once the servers are up again.

Yeah. I know. They're just one little drop in a whole big ol' bucket of injustice. But isn't everybody? They're just a drop that was brought, specifically, to my attention.

So I'm bumping the thread.

Joseph

2007-07-29T16:28:00.000-07:00

There's another tune up on my music page. This one is a live recording from the "ROCK FOR TURKEY!!" event I played for a few months ago.

Note: The name of the event was not at all "ROCK FOR TURKEY!!" It was "Turkish Delight: A Benefit Concert." But I will persist in calling it "ROCK FOR TURKEY!!" until the day I die.

***DANGER! TECHNICAL DETAILS ENSUE!! WOOOP!! WOOOP!! WOOOP!!***

Just FYI, it's a mono board mix. Which means that it is the recording directly from the mixing board--which is not at all intended for sharing--and that it is not a stereo recording, which means it is a little "dead" sounding.

I'm really talkin' it up, aren't I? You want to go there and listen RIGHT NOW, don't you!?

I cut this song out of a much larger .wav file, put it in GarageBand and added a little seasoning to make it more palatable, then converted it to an .mp3 file. I probably could've made it sound a little better, perhaps somehow compensating for the huge room reverb that appears suddenly about halfway through (it was our second song, and Jeremy was still tweaking the sound). But I think it's pretty good for what it is, and I see no point in spending the next hour of my life working on it to make it almost sound like what it is not.

***END TECHNICAL DETAILS. RE-ESTABLISHING ENJOYABLE BLOG CONTENT***

The full title of this song is "The Ballad of Joseph." I wrote it, if memory serves, back in the winter of 2000--about 6 months after leaving Nashville--in a tiny little bedroom of our tiny little rental house, on my grandpa's old archtop guitar.

In this performance I am playing electric guitar and singing the lead. Rachel Newell is singing harmony. Byron Grimes is on fiddle, Henry Kappler on bass, and Dan Anderson on drums. I seem to be singing kinda shakily--not sure why. Probably too much turning around to see what Dan & Henry were doing, I guess. After listening to the recording a couple times through, Matthew said, "Dad. You'd make a pretty good second Elvis. (pause) You know.. in a good way."

Lyrics are as follows.

V1
Joseph sat there on the stool / with nothin left in life to prove
and talked to me with cigarette-stained breath
With grizzled chin and waterin eyes / he told the story of his life
of better days when he had been his best

And I told him of my secret plan / my dream to be both boy and man
the reason I had made my homeward trek
I'd been away far too long / but flatland roots are oh so strong
so I decided I could make it stretch

Pre-chorus
He looked me sadly in the eye / hurt so deep you'd wanna cry
said "Son you're only foolin' yourself."
And he said, "Dreams are born and die here but they do all their living someplace else."

Ch
Nah-nah.. etc

V2
"I once was young and beautiful / Son, my cup was always full
No concern for life or worldly wealth
But time and tide caught up to me / and tipped me over endlessly
now nothin's left for drinkin to my health

Pre-chor
I once was young and beautiful / but now I'm old and cynical
jaded, feelin sorry for my self
And I say dreams are born and die here but they do all their livin someplace else."

Chor
Nah-nah.. etc

V3
Well now those dreams are laid to rest / with nothin bad as second best
I've closed that book and put it on the shelf
And when the young man comes to me / to tell me of his happy dream
I'll draw my breath and think of someone else

Pre-chor
I'll look him sadly in the eye / I hope to God that I don't cry
say, "Son, you're only foolin' yourself."
And I'll say, "Dreams are born and die here but they do all their livin someplace else."

Bridge
Dreams do their livin someplace else (although they may be born here)
Dreams do their livin someplace else
Dreams do their livin someplace else (though they may come to die here)
Dreams do their livin someplace / Dreams do their livin someplace
Dreams do their livin someplace else

Ch-out
Nah-nah.. etc..

a little something (more) redux a.k.a "music and lyrics"

2007-07-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Back before I left the old job, I posted these lyrics. Neat subject matter, given that I didn't really know I was leaving. (Other than the part where I thought that I heard God tell me that I was going to... but I think that's probably its own blog.)

A couple days ago, I went ahead and picked up a guitar to see if I could make a noise kind of like the one in my head. And it turns out I can. Make one. Kind of like it.

Also, it turns out that I can sort of work "GarageBand", which is a recording program that comes installed on the Mac. I'd been wanting to learn how, and I think I've got the basics figured out now.

The results of all these things can be found on my MySpace site, here.

It's a little more "adult contemp/top 40" than the version in my head, but it's just a writer demo, after all. Gets the point across. I think it sounds pretty good, considering that I haven't played the guitar for months (note the awesome fret buzzing in the first section), and that I recorded the entire thing in the living room, hunched over the laptop, into the internal microphone. (That's right. My sole input was the built-in mic on a laptop computer.) Guess I must have learned something in recording school, after all!

wow

2007-07-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

wow it sure has been a long time since i posted anything on here i'll have to do something about that my car needs oil bye!

Never shoot yourself in the head

2007-07-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Never shoot yourself in the head, because Bob Dylan might just not have gotten around to calling you yet.

Grace

2007-07-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

Grace is the parachute on a plane that's the world gone bad.

Art. Church. Good.

2007-07-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna draw any real conclusions based on this article that I read. Just on a very general level, though, I'm saying, "Art. Church. Good."

While you walk

2007-07-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

There are two schools of thought on knives and dishwater.

That's right, "knives and dishwater" is a category. Didn't know that, did you?

One school says, "Never.. ever.. put a sharp knife in the dishwater. Because you can't see it. You might not know it's down there, or forget about it our something, and while you're swishing around in the sink like hungry raccoon you'll slice yourself open like a Christmas turkey and THEN how will you feel!? Huh!?"

The other school says, "Why wouldn't there be knives in the dishwater? They're dishes. Duh. Try not to hurt yourself while you walk, m'kay?"

These are the two schools of thought. On knives and dishwater.

Movie Review

2007-07-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

I have often said* that if a movie review (or an album or a book review, for that matter) can't be done in 3 words or less, it shouldn't be done at all. Bearing that in mind, here is my review of the TRANSFORMERS movie, which I just saw today:

LOUD, DANGEROUS ROBOTS.

It didn't occur to me to use my phone to take a picture of everybody. I'll have to remember that next time. But it probably won't be as cool, because no one will be wearing their TRANSFORMERS shirts.

*I have never said this. Not even once.

Waiting for the works

2007-07-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

So here we are. Waiting for the works.
Live from the lake. So cool. ;-)

How getting the iPhones went down

2007-06-30T19:14:00.001-07:00

As promised, here is a hopefully not-too-painful retelling of how getting the iPhones went down. See, my employers decided that everyone in the company should have an iPhone as a perk. I heartily agree with this idea. So at about 9:30am on Friday morning (the day the phones were released) we (everyone in the company) packed up the cars with reading material, games, chairs, umbrellas, and a big cooler, and hit the sidewalk in front of the local at&t/cingular store. This is a lot of the day's progress, as recorded by me on my laptop as events unfolded. Or failed to.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9:45am – And here we are, sitting outside the Cingular wireless store in Savoy, IL. The entire staff of Spinlight studio. Still waiting for Matt’s wife, Candy, to show up. She better be quick about it, too, because word is they’ve only got 20 phones—and there are 14 people in line right now.

I can’t get a wireless signal, or I’d be posting updates throughout the day. Instead, I’m just going to fire up the laptop every couple hours or so. Wouldn’t want the world to miss out on any of the exciting details of this saga! After it’s over.

--

10:32am – And here we still are. Candy made it in time to sit with us. We let one guy go ahead because he was trapped in the middle of our agency. We kind of figure it’s an all-or-nothing endeavor, so if that one guy sinks us, so be it.

In the last 45mins I’ve both learned how to play—and been badly beaten at—the Nintendo DS. It’s hard to see the screen out here in the sun. And I’ve introduced people to the wonders of Paste magazine.

Also, I’ve put on sunscreen. Lots of it. I’m not drinking anything yet. I see no need to speed up the inevitable. But the manager of this store came out and said we could use their bathroom and that they have water and stuff for us if we need it. Pretty nice. Unfortunately, he won’t tell us if they have enough phones for everyone, or if they have enough 8G phones for us. (The phones come in 8G and 4G version—I’ve already volunteered to accept the 4G version if it comes down to that.)

I wonder where we’re gonna get lunch?

--

11:48am – When I started working for this company, I had to pick a screen finish for the MacBook Pro that they were going to buy me—matte or glossy. I had no clue, but I knew I’d be spending a lot of hours with it, so I did some internet research. The number one complaint against the glossy screen was that you couldn’t use it in direct sunlight. People were seriously bent out of shape. But, they said, you couldn’t hardly use the matte screen in sunlight, either, so it wasn’t such a huge setback. I chose matte. Figured it would reduce the glare from the fluorescent lights that I would actually be working under, and not a problem for the direct sunlight under which I would not.

The sun has officially come out. And in addition to being pretty warm, as suns tend to be, it is also rendering my screen almost unreadable. Really, though, it’s pretty nice out here. I bet it’s only maybe 85 degrees, tops, and there’s a really nice breeze going most of the time. I haven’t even broken out the umbrella yet.

I’m slowly grinding my way through Paste. Matt, Candy, Jolene, Linda, and Chris are playing Euchre. Debby is reading a book and watching Euchre (this may well be the world’s worst spectator sport). Matt says, “Just think, In only three more hours, we’ll be halfway there!”

The FedEx truck showed up an hour or two ago. The guy walked in with two small boxes. Not even a dolly. We were not encouraged. BUT.. our account exec, Linda, came over her yesterday and talked to a manager, and he said they already had them. No clue if any of that is true. UPS just got here, and unloaded a whole cart, but word is the drop will be made only via FedEx.

THE LINE: The person at the head of the line actually slept here in a tent in the parking lot. Then a few of his friends. Then there are a couple other guys up there with a soccer ball. A volleyball, actually, which they’ve been playing soccer with over the line chain for most of the time we’ve been here. You would think if you were going to sit in line for 8 hours playing soccer, you’d rummage up a soccer ball. Then there’s a kid who’s parents are professors. He’s just hanging out. Writing in a journal, looks like. Then there’s an empty chair—the guy who we let in front of us. We think he’s maybe not going to be spending a lot of time in the actual line this afternoon. He started off first thing this morning making friends with everyone and giving people food and stuff. Then one of his homies showed up about 30 mins ago and he told us he was gonna run for a sec but he’d be right back. Tick, tick, tick… Behind us, there’s a guy who works at Provena who seems nice. Behind him there’s a trio of college guys who brought a grill (!) ..aww yeah.. and a cooler full of meat and drinks. They also sent a runner to the Schnucks behind us for a case of beer and some bag ice. They are living large. After that there’s a half dozen or so other people—some of whom know Matt & Debby. Nothing special going on back there. Looks like it’s a line of… 27?.. currently.

Turns out that we really have no idea how many phones they have. Somebody was messing with somebody. It’s all a mystery. The best pre-event intelligence we have suggested that each store would get 250 phones. No clue. Sure hope this pans out.

Candy, Linda, and Jolene just ran to A&W/KFC to pick up some lunch. Mmm… two things I’m doing today which Brant would do under no circumstances.

Actually, since I’m writing a book right now, anyway, I should go ahead and clear things up a bit. I am not paying for this phone.

So Brant would probably do this. So long as he didn’t have to eat the KFC.

The phone is being paid for—everyone at the office will have one. And for those of you saying, “YES! BUT IT’S NOT EVEN THE PHONE COST, THE PLAN WILL COST YOU A KAJILLION DOLLARS DON’T YOU KNOW CHILDREN ARE STARVING IN AFRICA!?!?” Um.. no.. actually, it won’t. Because that’s paid for, too. As is the KFC, and my salary for a day of sitting here on the sidewalk doing whatever I feel like, and hanging out with a group of people who’s company I genuinely enjoy and am immensely blessed to be associated with in any way.

Lunchtime! Later, y’all.

--
1:51pm – Oh man. I was hoping that when I powered up the laptop this time, it would tell me it’s 3 o’clock or so. It is not. Still, it’s not horrible. I had to hold the umbrella for about an hour of pretty intense sun, but now it’s overcast again. There were breezes all along, so not really bad at all.

The little manager man has been out to adjust the line. Linda went in & hassled them because there was a whole circle/line thing going on that was not at all cool. Made it very confusing to figure out who was where. I’m not sitting in line for 8hrs to see other people get the only phones. One of the first 2 guys girlfriend showed up. We’ll see if she’s gonna try to sneak in. There’s another one of their friends who’s here, too, but it’s hard to say whether or not he’s going to try it. There are at least 7 people here willing to call them on it. : ]] While manager dude was out here he walked all around and didn’t-answer questions. (“I don’t know what the device situation will be.”) Apparently, he isn’t allowed to use the word “phone.” Only “device.” He assures us, though, that if they run out of “devices”, that we can all order the phone here, and our orders will be given “priority”, because the Cingular store order comes “from the warehouse.” We have serious doubts about that. Don’t ALL the phones come from the warehouse?

Matt thinks that the guy tipped his hand, though. He told us they’d be open until at least 10pm. Seems unlikely that they’d keep the doors open until 10 to sell no phones, doesn’t it?

All talking has now ceased. People hae fallen into reading and doing puzzles and stuff. I think I’m going to work on that Paste magazine again.. Ooh! Now there’s a photographer here taking shots of the party. Probably for the News Gazette. There was already a radio guy here from WDWS. I have no doubt a camera crew from one of the local news channels will be by later in the day. Lookit us, Mom! We’re on the TV!

All for now.

--
3:22pm – Hot again. Had to get out the umbrella. I think I may make it through the whole Paste before the end of the day. Matt & Chris just went to get us ice cream. Gotta like that. I’m having black walnut flavor, which is something I learned from my Grandpa Brown. Good stuff. My back hurts, so I think I’ll go take a little walkaround. Only two and a half more hours to go. They had better have these phones.
--

4:00pm – They just locked up the store, so they can get ready for the big push. I went and took advantage of the facilities before they did so, and while I was in there I got to plunge their toilet! Yay! This is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Sure enough, channel 3 news was here around 3:30, and now there’s another guy here with a notebook to talk to people. Gotta be a newspaper guy.

We figure that around 5 o’clock we’ll pack up the cooler, chairs, etc so we’re lean and mean and ready to go in. Deb has made us all promise that if she goes down before the big push, we’ll drag her body across the threshold behind us.

They were all out of black walnut, so I had cookies-n-cream, instead.

This has got to be the easiest line-sit ever. People were wearing astronaut diapers and sitting in 35-degreee rain at midnight to get a PS3. We haven’t even run out of cheetos yet.

Here are some pics I took w/ the MacBook camera.

--

4:54pm – Chris’s wife, Emelia is here hanging out with us now. The newspaper guy did turn out to be from the News Gazette, and he was very interested in the whole “entire company” angle. So we’ll probably get a little write-up out of it.

The Cingular staff is putting up new posters. The manager briefly put up a hand-drawn one that said, “SOLD OUT”. He so cra-zy!

Jamie Stout, the Mac sysadmin from Wolfram, showed up a few minutes ago. He said the word circulating there is that at&t stores in communities under 200,000 are guaranteed to have “at least” 6 phones. Over 200,000 “at least” 30 phones. And all Apples stores “at least” 30 phones.

I’m hanging on that “at least”.

A few people have been driving past and telling us to get lives, girlfriends, etc.. it’s a good time.

Gonna pack up the laptop now. If we actually get phones, it’ll be back to the studio to get things set up. If we don’t.. I don’t know. Probably have to get some kind of counseling or something. Or 8 hours of our lives back. Whichever is available.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRETTY EXCITING STUFF, HUH!!?? Well, you ask for a description of 9hrs on a sidewalk and this is what you get.

I'm not sure how many phones they really did have, but it appeared they had 20 of the 8G version. I don't know how many 4s were tacked on after that. If Jamie was right, they would've only had another 10. Very sad for those behind us. I'm really glad we went when we did. And I'm really glad we went, in general. It was a good time with good people. I'm a lucky guy, indeed.

MiPhone

2007-06-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, as a sort of rough update... I sat in line all day with the folks from the office. As a company perk, they bought iPhones for everybody.

Yes, that actually is as super-cool as it sounds.

I had my Macbook there, but couldn't get wireless access while waiting in line. Instead, I kept a timed log of the day's events. I'll edit that and post it tomorrow probably--but I warn you... deadly boring. That's what that is. Have you ever waited in line for something for a long time? You know that stage you reach, especially if it's hot, where your head is tilted back just slightly on the top of your spine and your mouth is hanging open like a trout? Well imagine how entertaining the text-only version of that moment is.

Meantime, here's another pic of the phone. This time, lit up. Just to prove it can be done.

I'mPhoned

2007-06-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

Ten long hours later...

More to come.

Jiggitty Jig

2007-06-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

We're home again. Miss us?

Well, we missed you, too. Though I am somewhat saddened to learn, upon our return, that the "Yard Church" has now passed out of fashion, and the Catacomb Church is where it's all at. Still, I think it makes a good album title, so I'll probably use it anyway.

For this album. That I'm not recording.

That makes it even hip-er, really.

On our vacation, we caught a lot of fish. If we ever get the pictures, I'll post some here. We also ate a lot of fish, which were tasty. Mmm.

Markus is turning into a rabid fisherman--he and I went out one day and he caught a couple dozen nice fish. Plus he hooked a big one that broke him off. I told him I think it's probably time to upgrade his tackle--if he's going to be out in the boat hooking whales, he'll need the gear to get it done. Emma LOVES fish. To the extent that she wants to hug and kiss them. I don't think most little girls want to hug and kiss fish--at least not once they find out the amount of slime involved--but she seems to be bucking the trend. She spent quite a bit of time one day catching fish out of a bucket with her hands and delivering them to me and dad so we could cut them up. Deb is practicing dressing fish, so she can help clean up Markus' messes. Matthew is tolerating fishing, but that's about it. He's good at it.. caught a couple really nice 15" bass one day.. but just not loving it.

And now we're home, and I'm at work, trying to "catch up." But here's what I think about the new workplace... it doesn't seem to be the kind of place where you can be gone and then catch up. It sort of just has a current. Like a stream. And you can't "catch up" or "get ahead". You just get IN. And then go with the flow. And, since the principal keepers of the flow are currently in a meeting that not even they remembered they were supposed to have.. and since we all spent the first 2hrs of the day scheming up ways to get everybody one of the new iPhones on the day they're released... going with the flow appears to take the form of updating my blog.

I'm done with that now, so I guess I'll bend my brain around a little real work, and see if I can't write something brilliant about something.

Good to be back. I'll try and say something interesting by the end of the week.

"The Yard Church Heresy"

2007-06-20T07:45:00.001-07:00

It strikes me that this is an excellent name for a book. Or an album.

Either way, I'll go ahead and write that up sometime, m'kay? Alright.

SICKFISHING

2007-06-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

YAY! YAY ALLERGIES! I AM GETTING SICK BEFORE I GO FISHING! I WILL CALL IT "SICKFISHING"!

MY THROAT IS SCRATCHY!

happy father's day

2007-06-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

On this, the most holy of paternal days, I have mixed feelings about fatherhood.

Not about the institution--it's a good one. Yay fathers.

But about my own marginal participation in the sport of father-being.

In fact, I just wrote a whole big post about it--and then deleted the whole thing because I couldn't stand it.

Sorry, but that's how I roll. I know it's hard to accept, but you'll just have to get over it. If you'd like an in-depth discussion of fatherhood and my feelings of inadequacy, I guess you'll just have to give me a call or something.

But just a few minutes ago, Deb and I got to explain the lyrics of Derek Webb's "new law" to Markus. He actually had a really good grasp on the entire concept. So I must be doing something right.

don’t teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
don’t teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music

don’t teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law

i don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me

i want a new law
i want a new law
gimme that new law

don’t teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice

don’t teach me about loving my enemies

don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law

what’s the use in trading a law you can never keep
for one you can that cannot get you anything
do not be afraid
do not be afraid
do not be afraid

update: June 16, 2007

2007-06-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

You know you're in for a snoozer of a blog post when you can't even come up with a title.

"Here's a guy," you might say to yourself, "who has absolutely nothing to say."

You wouldn't be too far off. But hey, I like talking to you, so sue me, okay?

I'm putting some new/old tunes up on the myspace page right now. I've GOT to make some new recordings. They don't have to be awesome, but I should at least sit down w/ a guitar and rip a few off, just so I can stop rotating scraplettes of would-be music that I recorded on cassettes in my basement ten years ago. I understand I'm not trying to break into the Billboard "hot 100" or anything, but come on..

Oh, and on a related note, I might get to play a little show in August. Details have yet to solidify, but I'm poking my musically-inclined friends to see if I can like up another iteration of The Eclectic Mix band that played with me last time out. I've also got one lined up for June 2008--so now it's sort of just a challenge to see how many I can squeeze into the next 12 months w/out upsetting the apple cart too much.

Kids are playing in the basement. Deb's working on homework and I'm on standby to help (thus the stupid amount of online time, playing myspace). I'd better go start pushing people through the tub soon, too--it's bath day! They will react like drowning kittens. What's up with that, anyway?

And that's all for now.

Almost famous (redoux)

2007-06-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

It turns out, if you just keep submitting photos, eventually they'll tell you that you really are the handsome devil you've always believed yourself to be.

Here is me, looking more like more good-looking people. (And Maurice Gibb)

ahh! ahh! ahh! ahh!

Dear guitar players...

2007-06-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

..here is why we should all give up.

Oh, and he also sings.

Of course, if it helps to muddy the waters and keep us all in comfortable delusion, we can bend this conversation in the direction of "Let's compare this guy with any single one of the 'American Idol' contest winners and then you try and tell me why it's cool that so many people know them and so few know him."

almost famous

2007-06-11T19:13:00.001-07:00

I'm just disappointed there wasn't room for my #10 match.. Scott Bakula.

Oh, and also about about the Andy Warhol thing. I mean.. I guess it's kind of cool. Kind of like how I share a birthday with Tom Petty. But when the game you're playing is "who do you look like?" neither one of these gentlemen are who you want in your starting lineup.

http://www.myheritage.com

look what i can do... (redux)

2007-06-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

This is a lot more impressive than the ear thing.

New personal catchphrase

2007-06-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

...RESPECT THE ROCK...

Two bags of otters' noses, please.

2007-06-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

This debate was interesting enough that I actually read all of it. It sort of reads like Monty Python, with the main difference being that Python way funnier because it's both devastatingly brilliant and intentionally ridiculous. This one lacks the latter, and is worse for the absent juxtaposition.

Roughly.. The question is whether or not Christianity is good for the world. One guy says no, and/because its unnecessary complexity causes a lot more trouble than good. The other guy says yes, and/because without it it's pretty much impossible to use words like "good."

My version is way shorter than the real thing. But the real thing is done in the form of letters back and forth, so it chunks itself up nicely enough to trick you into continuing to read.

One of the things that I always find disappointing about debates like this is the lack of perspective. By which I mean, I don't think there's a good way to have a truly rational discussion of something so immense and profound as a "philosophy of life" within the bounds of what amounts to a single conversation. It's all fine to talk (obviously I'm a big fan), but it's so difficult to know what we're talking about, that I don't think the point served is one of immediate or even semi-immediate resolution. It's just one conversation.

And, an integral part of the boundary defining the field of play is the life experience of the participants. It's no good to pretend we're arguing in a vacuum devoid of personal bias. To make an appeal to impartial rationalism. No such thing exists! I guess on a very small scale, sure.. but when you ramp the whole thing up, you're just going to end up with a sort of conversational theory of relativity, where the devaluation of reason increases exponentially as the complexity of intervening factors reaches critical mass. I'm givin' her all she's got, Cap'n, but I don't think she can take much more!

But then, for me, it all comes down to relationships and communication. Which (as one would suspect, based on my assertions above) is a conclusion bolstered by my personal experience, both with life in general, and with Jesus. I think that's what it's all about.

Interestingly, when it comes down to the two guys here, if I had to choose a guy (since I think it's all about relationships), I would probably choose the "Christianity is bad" guy. I don't know why. That's just how I roll. But, he and I would probably end up having issues. Because from my point of view, neither of us would have "positions," we would have a relationship, and differing "beliefs." And I'm cool with that. I'll leave all that "transforming of hearts and minds" business up to God. Think what you think, man.

But my feelings get hurt when people go out of their way to viciously attack my beliefs--like when they write entire books with the sole purpose of dogging me--especially when we have a relationship. That is also how I roll. Yo. And I've got a feeling that, since he doesn't have a deity to pin all that transformational responsibility on.. I'm going to get an earful. I'm happy enough to leave him alone--or at least converse respectfully, explaining my view on things and listening to his, without focusing on how hopelessly deluded we each think the other is, or simplifying opposing view for the purpose of a good lampoon. Hopefully we both learn something, and edify each other. Maybe even it'll leak out into the rest of the world. But I think this guy is not cool with "you leave me alone and I'll leave you alone". No, he came here for an argument!

And for his part, he would probably just want to smack me for being stupid and talking on and on.

But I can totally understand that. Which is why I'm shutting up now.

Thank you for not killing us

2007-06-03T14:20:00.002-07:00

Just got back from two nights of tent camping with the boys and their cub scout pack.

When you're out in the wild, you always have to worry that something is going to get you. Wolves. Hyenas. Coyotes. Bad s'more.. you can never tell. So you've got to stay super vigilant.

This time it was the weather gunning for us. We were camping under gi-normous old oak trees that looked like they'd probably been sitting around, right before we got there, saying wouldn't it be nice if they had some campers to fall on and crush to death--so the thunderstorms in the forecast were somewhat concerning. But the first night, while they were having hailstorms here at the house (20 minutes away from our campsite) we got nothing. And while they got a downpour the second night, we had a light sprinkle.

I'm not sure how you can be vigilant for a thunderstorm, but I guess we must've been. All I know is, I'm glad we didn't get squished, and I'd like to give a big shout-out to God, country, and whoever else might have been responsible for not killing us.

All in all, it turned out great. The boys had a good time. The new tent performed flawlessly. No one got lost or poison ivy, and the lake did not--despite what you may have heard--have al-li-ga-tors.

It wasn't perfect, of course. I think maybe we were so busy watching for storms that we let our guard down in other areas. So to help us on future outings, I've compiled this short list of things we should keep an eye out for:

1. More bag ice.

2. Outhouses without frenzied, violent, pooping birds in them. (although, I guess if a pooping bird is going to be somewhere...)

3. Outhouses without whatever else was in there--unless it was the birds causing that stink, in which case see #2. (insert #2 joke here)

4. Cub Scouts.

5. Participatory campfire games. Especially ones that involve numbering off, clapping, changing chairs repeatedly, and loud chanting of the phrase, "BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY, BIG BOOTY, BIG BOOTY! OH YEAH! BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY!" (This is not a description of more than one game.)

6. Rogue underwear in confined spaces.

7. Not getting sucked into staying a second night just because the boys really, really want to.

Sorry about the number of poop-related references in this list. But when you spend two whole days with ten year old boys it's a prevalent theme. Can't be helped. No matter how much you wish it could.

Movies vs. Bowling

2007-05-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

What movies have over bowling:

It is hard to look like a fool while watching a movie.

What bowling has over movies:

Everything else.

look what i can do...

2007-05-29T14:30:00.001-07:00

With my business cards.

Camera in your computer + Internet access = Immediate worldwide access to your stupidest ideas.

Swimming inside the box

2007-05-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Schrodinger is alive, FYI.

Man, these Silver Dollar fish are tough! If a 3-day weekend in that tank can't kill one, they can't be killed.

The government should start a Silver Dollar Fish Recruiting program. We could send them to the Navy and have them train for the special forces.

Of course, then they would be Seals AND Silver Dollar fish, and that would probably give them some kind of complex, and then they wouldn't be able to pass their psych evals. And then we'd just be stuck with a bunch of very deadly and frustrated (and unkillable) Silver Dollar fish running around...

This idea really wasn't that good.

Make way for Monday. Er.. Tuesday.

2007-05-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a Tuesday. The first day back to work. But not a Monday. I know that's gonna throw me all week.

I haven't seen my fish since noon on Friday. He was looking a little sluggish and murky at the time. Therefore:

Current fish name: "Schrodinger"

Fish status: Indeterminable

Tank status: Don't know. Can't see in there.

It's been a nice long weekend. Haven't worked. Talked to Bill on the phone just a bit ago. Had a nice cookout w/ the newly-relocated Henrys. Did a little bit of garage scraping, a bit of yard stuff, fixed Tanweer's lawnmower, a little re-wiring to make Deb's can opener work (though the vent fan now does not).

I didn't get to go fishing, but I did get to play the guitar some. Turned out Tanweer wasn't really aware that was something I did, so I did some playing for him. And then Josh got me to play (thanks Josh) while they were here, so that was two nights out of three. Not bad.

Today the boys and I went foraging for camping supplies. Between the things that we needed to buy and the gas to get there, our 3-hour tour cost us about $130. That's just crazy.

One of these days, I am going to make a truly entertaining and interesting post. Y'all just keep waiting. I promise.

I have gotten a haircut

2007-05-23T19:47:00.001-07:00

I have gotten a haircut.

This is going to require me to rock a little bit harder.

Also, to use less shampoo, shave more often (so as to avoid unpleasant "George Michael" references), and possibly to lose the extra 5lbs that I've been hiding in my face.