Thank you for not killing us

Just got back from two nights of tent camping with the boys and their cub scout pack.

When you're out in the wild, you always have to worry that something is going to get you. Wolves. Hyenas. Coyotes. Bad s'more.. you can never tell. So you've got to stay super vigilant.

This time it was the weather gunning for us. We were camping under gi-normous old oak trees that looked like they'd probably been sitting around, right before we got there, saying wouldn't it be nice if they had some campers to fall on and crush to death--so the thunderstorms in the forecast were somewhat concerning. But the first night, while they were having hailstorms here at the house (20 minutes away from our campsite) we got nothing. And while they got a downpour the second night, we had a light sprinkle.

I'm not sure how you can be vigilant for a thunderstorm, but I guess we must've been. All I know is, I'm glad we didn't get squished, and I'd like to give a big shout-out to God, country, and whoever else might have been responsible for not killing us.

All in all, it turned out great. The boys had a good time. The new tent performed flawlessly. No one got lost or poison ivy, and the lake did not--despite what you may have heard--have al-li-ga-tors.

It wasn't perfect, of course. I think maybe we were so busy watching for storms that we let our guard down in other areas. So to help us on future outings, I've compiled this short list of things we should keep an eye out for:

1. More bag ice.

2. Outhouses without frenzied, violent, pooping birds in them. (although, I guess if a pooping bird is going to be somewhere...)

3. Outhouses without whatever else was in there--unless it was the birds causing that stink, in which case see #2. (insert #2 joke here)

4. Cub Scouts.

5. Participatory campfire games. Especially ones that involve numbering off, clapping, changing chairs repeatedly, and loud chanting of the phrase, "BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY, BIG BOOTY, BIG BOOTY! OH YEAH! BIG BOOTY! BIG BOOTY!" (This is not a description of more than one game.)

6. Rogue underwear in confined spaces.

7. Not getting sucked into staying a second night just because the boys really, really want to.

Sorry about the number of poop-related references in this list. But when you spend two whole days with ten year old boys it's a prevalent theme. Can't be helped. No matter how much you wish it could.