punchworthy

A blog whereby I motivate myself, and my readers, to punch me in the mouth.



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  "The consumate rocker's rocker. Charming, personable... a sucking void of inescapable inner turmoil."
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Monday, December 19, 2005

mmm... Koalas...

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there are boxes of cereal residing on top of my fridge that say...

"EnviroKidz Organic Koala Crisp(TM) cereal" (Note the hip "z" usage. Kidz dig that.)

My first thought on encountering this was, exactly,"W'zuh?!?"

More thoughtful reflection brought the realization that these are probably something inherited from a friend of ours, who keeps buying healthy, whole grain, all natural, earthy-goodness-that-can-be-spotted-coming-a-mile-away non-delicacies for her family, in a doomed attempt to save them from their natural-born cupcake eatin' tendencies--and then giving them to us when said family absolutely refuses to eat them under any circumstances, including threat of death (and not the cupcake-induced kind, either).

These Koala Crisps claim to be, "Good for the earth, good for kids, too."

Excellent! If there's any leftovers when the earth is done, we should let the kids have a go.

I turned the box around to see what was on the front and, of course, (duh!) loveable Koala! But that's not the fun part. The fun part is that all of the normal, "Eat these sugar cubes and win a free Disney Nick-X-Box!!!" ads have been replaced with even more wholesome earth/health-friendliness.

Corner banner: "Gluten free!"

Sticker-style: "USDA/ORGANIC"

Floating text: "ORGANIC COCOA" (in the dim light of the kitchen I briefly mistook this for "organic koala," which would've been another story entirely)

Bullets: "no addititives or preservatives" and "1% of sales donated to wildlife" ("Thank you, Mr. Orangutan. Please move forward and take your place in the line on the left...")

Anyway, I was a little taken aback, but now I almost can't wait to, as the box says, "Dig into the blissful taste of organic crunchy rice crisps covered with organic cocoa. Simply delish!"

Read that again, but this time replace "cocoa" with "koala." That's how my brain insists on seeing it.

For more information, log on to www.savethekoala.com, the website of the Australian Koala Foundation, AKA "AKF". Which I imagine is also the sound that you make when you eat this stuff.

2 Comments:

At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard that I nearly aspirated a potentially lethal amount of non-organic maple-flavored syrup.

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger caparoon said...

That brings up another common laptop-related problem. "Getting stuff in your laptop."

Even the folks at Dell agree with me on this one--a laptop full of freshly aspirated faux-syrup can be a really sticky situation.

I recommend the same treatment, though. Just raise the water temp and soak a little longer.

 

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