punchworthy

A blog whereby I motivate myself, and my readers, to punch me in the mouth.



  "Punchworthy feeds our deepest Freudian wishes!" --Entertainment

  "The consumate rocker's rocker. Charming, personable... a sucking void of inescapable inner turmoil."
  --Newsweek
  

Friday, March 30, 2007

Danger, Thar Bee Cornsters

Hey Hansen!

Remember when you realized that corn were gonna killz us allz..?

Well check it out! Now, thanks to our awesomely awesome AMERICAN SUPER-CORN, we're all gonna bee even MORE killzed!

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Stir me with a fork

My microwave, at home, has a timer alarm that beeps at the halfway-done point.

The idea is, there are so many microwave-ready meals and recipes that instruct you to microwave for half the total cooking time, stir with a fork, and then return your dish to the microwave.. why not just put a little beeper on there to let you know when the time has come?

Believe it or not, (I know I'm having a hard time) today marks 1 week since I turned in my 2 weeks notice here at work. Man! That week flew by!

What's more, it was a pretty great week! We got some stuff DONE up in here!

But today may mark the beginning of the end. I've got 2 people out, and I need them.. I had to let someone go.. and I haven't yet set seriously about the task of wrapping up my projects to pass on when I'm gone. : \

tick tick tick.. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Turkish Delight

After thinking about this.. well.. it's either entirely appropriate or entirely inappropriate. Which one remains to be seen.

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

copywriter: update/general: update

Soo.. my last official day at the current job is April 4.

Things this week at work have been really good. Thurs/Fri were very productive, and me and Amy got to hang out a lot. I'm really interested to see how things progress this next week and a half. I am starting to get pretty excited about the new gig ("smoke on the water" keeps playing in my head.. ), but I also still care about the old one, and am really eager to get some things nailed down/wrapped up.

I'm still freaking out, occasionally, but all in all..

We haven't figured out our insurance yet, but we're going to. Hopefully this next week. With Deb in school full-time and me in job-shift mode + playing-music mode, we don't have a lot of creative mental headroom left floating around... but we'll get it done! Glass-half-empty: Our insurance costs for the year will probably double.. or slightly more. Deb's RA is generally considered a pre-existing/non-insurable condition. Glass-as-it-actually-is: There are ways to deal w/ the pre-existing condition thing. We already know where most of that money is coming from.. and even if we didn't it would totally be worth it. : D

Took the little princess to dance class this morning. Pretty cool deal. Dinner w/ the Henrys this evening (plus Byron is coming and we're going to turn it into a hootenanny), also cool deal.

Now, to turn this avacado into something i can eat on chips...

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

"Why my brain hurts a little" or "How I became a professional copywriter"

It has been a week. For sure. And today is only Wednesday.

Funny story:

Monday morning I went in to work and took stock of what the week was gonna be like. My friend Debby from Sp******* studios popped online.

Sp******* (I'm "*"ing out their name so that google searches don't lead to the blog) is an advertising/design studio. I met Debby and the other owner, Matt, about 3 or 4 years ago when I answered a blind ad for a freelance copywriter. Long story short, I didn't know anything about copywriting, but it seemed like something I could do. I gave it a shot. They liked my work, and I've been doing little one-off jobs for them ever since.

Debby is also a member of the trendy and exclusive chat club that is my IM "buddy list." I had just finished writing an ad for them, so when she popped online I gave her a "bloong!" to see how things were going.

She said good. Told me how the ad was turning out. Light chatter ensued.

Then I said, "So, are you hiring a copywriter/project manager/man-about-town today?"

"No. Sorry. Why, are you getting fed up over there?"

"No. I'm just looking at my list for the week and it's not doing anything for me."

"Haha {more light chatter} Bye!"

Time passes.

Around 4pm I get a "bloong!" from Debby.. "Hey! You there?"

"Yeah. Why... you change your mind?"

"Well.. we were talking... I don't want to get your hopes up, but..."

Fast forward 20 hours. I'm having lunch with Matt and Debby. They have an idea for a new position, and they think I'll really like it. They explain that they are tired of outsourcing all of their copy work, and they'd like to bring someone on full time. Someone they could train up in the way of Sp*******, so that they can stop (essentially) leasing writers, without every building any equity. They think they might like me to be that someone.

After some Q&A, some philosophy, and the greatest interview question ever... "If someone offered you a million dollars cash, would you kill a puppy?" ...we adjourned. They said they would think about it and get back to me.

I went back to work and was quietly tense.

8:30 last night--a scant 28.5 hours from the time at which the first "might" appeared--I get a call from the studio. They offer me a job as "Senior Creative Copywriter" at their studio. I accept.

Then, I (and Deb) lie awake most of the night.

Today, I go to work, and inform my posse of the situation. There is weeping. There is joy. There is freaking out.

And the posse was pretty moved, as well.

Then I have to tell my boss... who promoted me to a department head less than a year ago--a process that had started with the question, "Do you see yourself staying here long-term?" ...that I am quiting. And there's nothing that could possibly make me stay. And that my last day will be 14 days before the first major product release for our company in a year and a half.

This went surprisingly well.

Then I went up to HR, put in my two weeks, and wrote them an official letter of resignation.

After work, I went over to the studio and inked the deal.

And that is the story of "Why My Brain Hurts a Little" or "How I Became a Professional Copywriter".

The End

Moral of the story...?

"It's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside that really counts. Unless what's on the outside is bees. Because, if it's bees on the outside, it doesn't really matter what's on the inside."

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Too long. Blarney.

It's been too long since I've updated the blog, so kick back with a green beer. Here's a St. Patrick's Day update for you all.

Well.. Everybody at my work was sick last week. I am refusing to be sick. We will see how that goes.

I took the big orange guitar to a guy to get an electrical buzz out of it. He managed to find the source and get it stopped. Unfortunately, he didn't get the endpin and bridge back together correctly, so I've got to take it back. : [ But, he's a nice guy, so I guess it's alright.

While Big Orange is out of commission, I am using the little semi-hollow. I've got a show to play on April 1, and I had a rehearsal on Thursday night. The little guitar worked out so well for me, I may play it for the show! (I hate to rehearse with one guitar and then switch to the other)

But enough about the guitar and more about the rehearsal! My idea was similar to what Dan and I did for the silent auction--I'd play some songs and Dan would shake and rattle along. Then I thought, "Hey, I should ask Byron to play along, too.." and then I had the same thought about a bass player.. and then about a second singer.. So now I'm up to Dan, Byron, Henry (on bass), and Rachel (vocals). That's a lotta people playing along. : )

So anyway.. Thursday night we got together and ran through a few songs. I am tremendously pleased with how it went. Actually.. I hate to even put this out there, but.. I think that was the best time I've had playing music since sometime in the mid 90's. Seriously. It was one of those times when you play and it just all happens like it's supposed to. Yeah, you have to work here and there, but it's not even like work! It's like you're where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to do. On a universal, spiritual level. That's so cool! And also, I realize, so lame and goofy. : } But hey, I can be goofy and lame... it's my blog! You wanna be cool? Get your own blog! (you probably already have one, and you're cooler than me. well.. pat yourself on the back for being in the exclusive "everyone else on the planet" club, mr. just-like-everybody-else.)

And today.. Today was "clean the house" day. I cleaned for 9hrs straight today (brief stop for some lunch) and I did some serious damage. I got the boys to play along, too, so we got some things done. Logged on to radiou (praise God for broadband), cranked it up, and busted out some sponges and elbow grease. The bad part was, the dishwasher decided it has something wrong with it.. so tomorrow.. I gotta tear that darn thing apart. : \

That's it! Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody!! (honey, where do we keep my green beer..?)

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Monday, March 12, 2007

DST Trivia (Twah)

("Twah")

I think all clocks should reset like the one on my microwave. It's so simple.. you just push the "clock" button, then you set the time by pushing 3 buttons (say.. "1,2,3" for "1:23")... then you push the "clock" button again.

Then you can like, get a burritto, or whatever.

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DST Trivia (Deux)

("Dukes")

Comments at my house this morning:

Markus, stumbling blearily into the hall... "Is this a morning!?"

Emma, "Who opened my door! Why is it dark? The birds aren't singing!"

Matthew, (nothing. already downstairs making breakfast.)

Me and Deb, "Why, God!? Why..!?"

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DST Trivia

Little known fact: DST began in 1533 with a hoax letter nailed to the gate of a French fort. The letter contained detailed instructions as to how the procedure was to be followed, and was signed "The King". Communication being what it was, much time passed before the French frontiersmen ("fron-tee-ays-min") found out that the whole thing was just a joke, and by then it was too late.

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Monday, March 05, 2007

Why my song lyrics below can never rise to the highest eschelon of greatness

... it's because the top spots are all full of this!

Friday, March 02, 2007

a little something (more)

I think maybe this polishes this one off. Not that I've picked up a guitar on it yet, mind you, so it's hard to say where it goes from here.

I got the words for the second, doubled verse this morning on the way to work. When I got there, I wrote them down on the back of a piece of paper that had an email I'd printed out on the other side. (some days i'm too stupid to read and comprehend emails on the screen, so I have to print them out to get my brain to process them) Then I turned it lyrics-side-down on my desk and spent the rest of the day being a guy who goes to meetings and answers questions and tries to figure stuff out.

I realized after I got home that I'd never bothered to type the lyrics up and compare them to what I'd typed the day before (because I wouldn't know, until I did that, if they were really lyrics, or just something I thought of, or lyrics to a different song that I didn't know I was writing yet). Also, I'd forgotten to even bring home the stupid paper that they were written on, which meant, most likely, no more thinking about them until Monday.

But then it turned out that I could remember them all, word for word. Which is usually a really good sign. Trust me, (and those who have worked with me can testify) if I can remember a whole string of lyrics, that's significant. Even ones I've written myself. Perhaps especially ones I've written myself.

So I pulled up the doc file and typed them out and they do seem to match up with what I already had, so I guess they must all go together. I don't know what this is called, but here it is:

sometimes when i'm at work, i
stare out the window to where you used to..
my eyes are far away
from the things that i get paid for

a justice
ending
a new
beginning
i got the word now i'm just
waiting for directions

pack up your plagues and set out for the north
pack up your never-ending tales of selfless worth
pack up your bags, the summer sun sets in the south
and happiness and handbags east and west now that your
hand's set to the plow

i came back to life this year
a little past what i expected
but hey.. i'm alive
i'll take it

the winter cold must've killed
some crawling bugs inside my soul
a feeble flame
rekindled

a justice
ending
a new
beginning
i got the word now i'm just
waiting for directions

a justice
ending
a new
beginning
i got the word now i'm just
waiting for directions

pack up your plagues and set out for the north
pack up your never-ending tales of selfless worth
pack up your bags, the summer sun sets in the south
and happiness and handbags east and west now that your
hand's set to the plow

now that your hand's set to
now that your hand's set to the

pack up your plagues and set out for the north
pack up your never-ending tales of selfless worth
pack up your bags, the summer sun sets in the south
and happiness and handbags east and west

now that your hand's set to
now that your hand's set to the
now that your hand's set to
now that your hand's set to the plow

Thursday, March 01, 2007

a little something

sometimes when i'm at work, i
stare out the window to where you used to..
my eyes are far away
from the things that i get paid for

a justice
ending
a new
beginning
i got the word now i'm just
waiting for directions

pack up your plagues and set out for the north
pack up your never-ending tales of selfless worth
pack up your bags, the summer sun sets in the south
and happiness and handbags east and west now that your
hand's set to the plow