A blog whereby I motivate myself, and my readers, to punch me in the mouth.

  "Punchworthy feeds our deepest Freudian wishes!" --Entertainment

  "The consumate rocker's rocker. Charming, personable... a sucking void of inescapable inner turmoil."

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Anti-porn software for your laptop (the laptop series, entry #3)

Having a hard time with your hardware? Trouble with your toolbar? Indiscretions on your.. uh.. desktop?

Finally! A consumer product that strikes to the heart of the matter!

Or at least strikes slightly downstream of the heart of the matter.

There are a lot of benefits to carrying your drive with you everywhere you go. But most laptop owners realize that the practice is also fraught with areas of difficulty--mostly stemming from the improper use of your device.

Well, weep no more! Finally, technology and accountability-based-restraint have gotten together!

X3watch is a FREE program designed to keep your laptop in line while you're out and about. (Shoot.. it even works around the house..)

Brought to you by the good folks at XXXChurch (I swear. They're good.), this clever tattle-tale monitors your internet usage. If you aren't using your equipment in a manner that conforms to the intent of its designer.. zzap!! ..email goes to the tattle-ee of your choice (wife, girlfriend, guyfriend, pastorfriend, etc...) telling them on exactly which pages you've been letting your fingers do the walking.

Do you have a sysadmin looking after your gear? I know I do! If not, go get some software for your hardware, and keep your laptop on the straight and narrow.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Poker Night with the boys

It is Wednesday evening, or as I now refer to it, "Poker Night with the boys."

And Emma. But I don't say that part, because it throws the whole thing off.

Deb has a class on Wednesdays now.. "Accounting" or "Big Numbers that make John's head hurt".. something like that.. and me and the gang are just chillin' for a few hours. It's nice, actually, that they get some time in an alternative environment (Deb too).

Last week Emma and I were butting heads about something, and I kind of told her how it was going to be and to move it along, missy. And Matthew, who had been drawing at the table, says
"You may as well get used to it, Emma.. every Wednesday is going to be like this from now on."

Now.. I'm not sure how he meant that.. but there was definitely a sense of resignation involved. Maybe not even so much for his own part, but he was certainly at least conveying to the girl that she had better just lower the bar right now, because with me in charge, things were not going to meet up to her expectations. Just do what the crazy old man says, and nobody gets hurt. Mom will be back shortly, and we'll return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

I don't know where he came up with it--I didn't tell him. Didn't lay down the law or give him the "Now.. mom's going to be gone on Wednesdays and so..." speech. That's just his own, frank assessment of the situation. And.. regardless of how he meant it.. I think I'm kind of pleased.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The steel fist of ROCK! Yeah Baby! Yeah!

We are getting ready to rock Robinson.

I don't know for sure about Bill... or the other guys, who's names I don't even know. I know there is a "Boyd" involved. Possibly a "Woody" ..though I make no promises. Dang, though... if I've got a band comprised of "Woody, Boyd, and Bill" how could it not rock!? I mean, that just sounds like rock! (or perhaps some kind of cowboy posse) but anyway, tough luck, third guy who's name I don't know! From here on out, you're "Woody"!

I don't know for sure about Bill... or Woody, or Boyd... but I, anyway, at least, am getting ready to rock.

I have been blasting it out in the bat cave. Big Orange is fueled up and ready to spit it out.. The Delta is full of glowing tubes. Growling overdrive, the rich whining of hollow-bodied feedback, and sparkling 2x10 jangle pour from behind the black tweed grill in a thick, melty stream... oh yeah, Baby..

Oh. Yeah.

I'm sayin'.

Even the vocals sound like I might know what I'm doing. The chops appear to be coming up to speed nicely. Let's not go all "American Idol" with it, shall we? Let's sing like somebody who's sung a couple times before. (even if not really for the last..uh.. decade?)

Share in my joy, people. Share in my joy! And my sincere hope that I don't suck it up. Big time.

: ]

Monday, August 28, 2006

Flip-flops iz the sound of serious!

Flip-flops iz the sound of serious!

Whenever I hear somebody flomp-stomping past my cube in flip-flops, I don't pop my head up to see what kind of amusing inflatable pool-toy they might be carrying. No sir!

And I rarely call out "NO WORKING IN THE POOL AREA!"


Friday, August 18, 2006


Forms are usually written for the convenience of the person fulfilling the request, rather than that of the requestor.

Which is kind of ..ironic..? In that, the original point was, presumably, to facilitate requests--not to impede them.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Holy Cow! Thanks, Brant, for this... "The Gospel is not an invitation to 'invite Christ into your heart,'..."

I think it wouldn't come as a shock to anyone to find out that me and the Southern Baptist Convention aren't usually reading from the same play-book... but maybe this articles indicates that we just aren't usually reading it the same way... 'cause this is definitely coming from the same book I'm reading.

Revival anyone..?

Monday, August 14, 2006

at least I got a sandwich

The title is just for Scott. I actually got more than a sandwich. It was a good time.

"What? What was a good time, John!?" you are no doubt all asking.

Last night Deb & I and some other people met up at The Potbelly.. local eatery.. to hang out and check out their open mic night, which is every Sunday from 6 - 8pm (with your host, Adam Wolfe).

These people (Josh, Rachel, Kati, Deb & Aiden) came along because they like to hang out and eat sandwiches, and also to make sure that I went through with playing the open mic. ..It was sort of like a shotgun wedding, but where J/R/K/D/A played the part of the shotguns, and the parts of the reluctant groom and the bride were played by myself and a crappy microphone on a high platform (Seriously, there's a ladder. Ever climb a ladder with a guitar?) in the corner of the restaurant.

People who play get a free sandwich for their trouble--which is kind of like saying that people who eat candy get tasty goodness for their trouble, I think--but still definitely a bonus. I had the PBJ, which is excellent. Other highlights of the night included, in no particular order:

~ Really nice people at the open mic. Adam Wolfe was a gracious and giving host, and down-to-earth guy, despite constant assertions of his own evilness. Also, he does a pretty mean Johnny Cash for a rocker guy. Michael, Josh, and Matt (other open-mic-ers) were all nice guys, who didn't make me feel stupid for being at least a decade older than all of them. Additionally, they were all good.

~ Not actually making a fool of myself.* Other than a flubbed chord change, I did alright. People said it was good, I believe them, and they asked me to come back next week. (so how bad can that be, right?)

~ A really wonderful bunch of friends, who were willing to encourage me to do something I should be doing ayway, and not laugh at me for being a loser in that I needed the encouraging in the first place. At least not much.

I will try to make this a fairly regular Sunday thing.

* I did, when coming down off the ladder, have the great idea of "hopping" down and skipping the last couple rungs. Fine idea, except that there was a high-backed chair immediately behind the ladder, and reaching just about six inches further off the ground than my legs are long. I am glad that is wasn't one of those chairs with big knobs on the top. Only Rachel & Josh actually witnessed this entertaining spectacle.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I am not dead. Mosquitos are whack.

No, I am not dead. I know it's been awhile since I updated the blog, but time keeps getting away from me.

I have been working a lot on music--mostly making little demos to email down to Bill in Robinson, so that he and his guys can learn my songs. For anybody who doesn't know, and who is bothering to check this blog, Bill and I are playing a show in Robinson, IL, on September 9. Bill is the music minister at a church there, and they are having an outreach festival kind of thingy in the park, with music and games and whatnot.

And when I haven't been working on music, I have been working on relationships, and being involved with people. People.. take a lot of time and energy. Which is okay. But I have to remind myself that even though I'm busy a lot (again.. still..), it's okay, because I'm busy doing what I set out to do. Which is a whole lot better than being busy doing things that other people set out for me to do. : ]

So.. let's see.. what were the priorities again..? Writing (mostly music), and Relationships. And I'm spending the majority of my time doing what..? Music & Relationships. Rock on. Living with intentionality and purpose. Don't get me wrong, I sure haven't got anything mastered yet, but it's at least a start.

PS -- It has come to my attention that this blog is becoming overwhelmingly positive. I will have to do something about that, I suppose. To protect my street cred, if nothing else.

..uh.. So.. how 'bout mosquitos? Man, ain't nobody likes mosquitoes! They are whack. And bad. Stupid mosquitos.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


This is probably going to look stupid typed out, but darned if it isn't a rockin' good time to play!

You wanna write yourself a humanistic manifest
Or are you preachin that the worldly good is second best?
& have you really got the world all wrapped up good & tight
Or are you beatin like an empty drum inside tonight?

You better figure it out (4x)

You wanna write a little humanistic manifest
Or are you preachin that the worldly good is second best?
You wanna h.. you wanna h.. you wanna hide
but now you're reachin up to the light

You better figure it out (4x)

(guitar over Verse structure)
(vocal breakdown of Chorus)

Now no more writin little humanistic manifests
& no more preachin that the worldly good is second best
& now you're runnin like a man who's tryin to save life
& now you're reachin up to the light

V out
(& now you're reachin up to the light 4x)
(no vocal 4x)